keris stainton

The second Dr Horrible ... so good.

Dr Horrible's Sing-Along Blog

Have y'all watched it already?

I just watched it and it's just gorgeous. I loved it.

And the "Bad Horse" and "Dr Hammer" bits are way too funny for someone whose ribs are still hurting from throwing up on Tuesday night. Gah.

How I spent Friday night...

Yeah, I know it's been going for ages. Yeah, I've heard people saying how great it is for months. And yet ... for some reason, I'd never bothered to check it out. I think that, in my head, I had it mixed up with Gawker, which I find much too bitchy.

Anyway, last night, I was reading Meg Cabot's blog and she mentioned the writer of Jezebel's Fine Lines column had got a book deal. So I had to check out Fine Lines, which is a retro YA book review column, and it was fantastic. (She's doing Lois Duncan's Stranger With My Face in a couple of weeks.)

From there I scrolled down and read ... and read ... and read ... for about 45 minutes. Then I ate my dinner, watched Location, Location, Location and DIY SOS then thought, "I'll just have another quick look at Jezebel...".

Two hours later I went to bed. My eyes were stinging, but my brain was ringing and I was happy.

Now, it won't appeal to everyone. For a start, it's sweary and I know a couple of you don't like that (Hi, Maz! Hi, Joyce!), but I think it's fantastic.

It's fun working from home

On the day I got my good news, David said he might be coming home for lunch. There was a knock at the door. I flung it open with a big grin on my face. It was the postman. He looked scared. But at least I was dressed...

This morning I was in the shower when I heard a hammering on the door. I've been waiting for a parcel from DHL and I've missed it twice so I knew that if I missed it again it would be on its way back to the Big Apple. So I ran downstairs and opened the door, dripping wet and wrapped in a towel. Poor man didn't know where to look. Actually he did. At anything but me. (I'm so alluring...)

In other news, yesterday our cable "went down". So we had no internet. And no TV. From lunchtime until this morning.

H: Pitou* broken?
Me: Yes.
H: TV?
Me: That's broken too.
H: TV not working?
Me: That's right.
H: Playhouse Disney not working?
Me: That's right.
H: Nick Jnr not working?
Me: Correct.
H: Nick Jnr 2 not working?
Me: Spot on.
H: CBeebies--
Me: Not working.
H: Pitou ... not working.
Me: Indeed.

The very first thing Harry said to me this morning was "Pitou not working and TV not working." Kid's a technology-holic. I don't know where he gets it from. (Any suggestion that I may have spent yesterday afternoon quivering and alternating between checking the modem and ringing the status line is firmly refuted!)

*Pitou = computer

"Too laffin', Middy!"

Thanks to Emily, I just read this (warning: it's a little bit rude) and upset Harry by laughing too much.

Listen, the loo's still broken, how much is too much?

While I'm here, if you're interested in shocking celeb gossip (and if you're not, you're no friend of mine) then check this out. I repeat. Good grief.

Sent from my Blackberry Wireless Handheld Lounge

So a couple of weeks ago I brought my (very heavy) computer downstairs and found it much easier to write my novel without the distraction of the internet.

This morning I brought it down again and planned to leave it down all weekend. Got a chunk of writing (okay, rearranging) done this morning and within a couple of hours (okay, minutes), started having internet withdrawal. I didn't want to cart the computer back upstairs just to check my stupid emails, but then I had a thought...

Where was the internet connection coming from? Yes, it was in my office, but where did that wire actually go? I followed it to the connecting thing in the wall and wondered if I could just connect downstairs. I pulled up all the wiring, brought it downstairs and tried to plug it into the phone socket. It didn't fit. I took it all back upstairs again.

Then I realised that the connection upstairs was an extension and the wire actually ran down the stairs. To what? And where? I couldn't remember. I wandered around the lounge a bit, scratching my head and then remembered... It's connected to the sodding cable box, isn't it. Obviously!

So then it was just the small matter of getting the wire, pulling out the telly, changing the connection, bringing the computer into the living room from the front room, restarting everything... And here I am!

Of course, the first thing Harry did was bring me a DVD to play on the computer. Despite the fact that he's already watching a DVD on the TV. If he really thinks he's going to watch two at once, he's got another think coming. (He's sitting next to me now, mouth hanging open in front of the Tweenies Christmas while clutching Baby Shakespeare hopefully.) (He's just said, "Baby d'Einstein? No, not the TV. The 'puter!")

Oh and I only had one interesting email. And 12 boring ones.

(But it will actually be useful for getting ahead on some work over the weekend - I realised this morning that I've only got one morning to work next week and then it's the Christmas holidays!) (Also for finally finishing watching those Rescue Me DVDs that won't play on the TV.)

Think like a dog

Just saw this on Swissmiss and it made me laugh. Or should that be larf?

Housekeeping

No, not in *my* house (don't be silly). Just, you know, stuff I've been meaning to mention and keep forgetting...

1. Thank you so, so much for helping me get to and then beyond the 80% target for New York. It's less than two months away now and I am so excited (and also worried, because I can't remember the last time I walked one mile, never mind 13...).

2. There are still a couple of knittens to go out. I know I said end of August, but my arthritic fingers haven't dealt very well with the changeable weather and there's only so much knittening they can take. They'll be with you soon, though. Honest. Soon.

3. Over on the right there, under that pic of me, you'll find some new links. In the WRITING one you'll find a couple of JPegs and even some PDFs of article's I've written. I'll be updating them periodically. (Get it? Articles? Periodically? Oh, never mind.)

4. There's also something called TODAY'S DANCE which is the song that me and Harry have danced frenetically around the lounge to that day. With the wonder of technology, you can point to it with your mouse, wait for the Snapshot thingie to open up and then actually play the video ... without leaving my blog! Feel free to frug furiously around your own home.

5. And then there's FRIDAY PHOTO, which was going to be my response to a Friday photo challenge from another site, but they've stopped setting them. However, I like it so I'll keep doing it. In future it'll just be whatever photo I'm liking on whatever day I put it up. And I'll probably change it to PHOTO OF THE WEEK or something, if I remember.

While I'm being self-indulgent (although it is my blog - where can I be self-indulgent if not my blog, eh?), here's a Blossom pic I did this very morning. I'm going to colour it in at some point (Ha, get me. Colouring in. I'm 36!) and then I'll upload the coloured one too, assuming I don't make a pig's ear of it.

So that's me. How are you?

Schmoozin' for a bruisin'

Lovely Linda very kindly awarded me this, um, award a while ago and due to a combination of ... not remembering, I forgot I was supposed to award my own ... awards (good grief, what is wrong with me today?!).

So I've chosen the following bloggers based on the fact that I love them and they make me happy. (I'm not sure if they're the rules, but I don't care.) Oh and if I haven't nominated you, it doesn't mean I don't love you or you don't make me happy, it just means I love you a little bit less than the following people (or that you've already got one of these awards ... or I forgot about you).

Gabrielle - she's funny, she's talented, she's opinionated and thought-provoking, plus she's got great taste in TV.

Caroline - she makes me laugh and she makes me cry in equal measure.

Stella - of course. Even though she is so, so wrong about The West Wing (and a little bit wrong about Studio 60), I love her everso.

Lisa - my New York walk partner and totally inspiring pink girl.  When I feel down she picks me up (is that a Westlife song?).

Emily - her blog may be new, but I get overexcited when I see there's a new, bound-to-be-hilarious (that's not too much pressure is it, Emily?) post.

I think that means you five have to nominate your own five now. Have fun!

Spam(alot)*

On Saturday we went to the supermarket and spent over £100. I was not happy. I suggested to David that might last us til Christmas, but he just laughed. £100! Outraged. But that's not my point. My point is that £2 of that was spent on two tins of Spam. Yes, Spam. Yes, I know I claim to not eat red meat, but I'm in a place where if I fancy something, I allow myself to eat it and, for some unholy reason, I fancied Spam.

It could be that the packaging appeals to the nostalgic part of me (which, as we know, is a pretty big part of me). It could be that it reminds me of my nan (Saturday nights: Juliet Bravo, the Generation Game). I may well be horribly disappointed when I actually taste the stuff, but I'll let you know.

As for the other kind of spam -email spam - the stuff I've been getting has been pretty boring lately. Lots of stuff about "Adobe Suites" and this one, which I love:

$272,000 loan (Approved refinance) for a low month payment.

Seriously, would anyone fall for that? But then this one made me laugh a lot.

Subject: We recommend you to take two tablets once a day, after a meal.   

Oh really? What for?

The body grows and develops GRADUALLY, not over night!

Well, that's certainly true.

This is why MegaDik is the greatest breakthrough product in the history of male enhancement!

I do not know if it's the "greatest breakthrough product", I do know it's the greatest named product.

Does exactly what it says on the tin. Just like Spam (chopped pork and ham). God, I'm clever today.

*I haven't seen Spamalot yet, but I do have the soundtrack and this line from You Won't Succeed on Broadway (if you don't have any Jews) makes me laugh every time: "There's a very small percentile who enjoys a dancing Gentile." Genius.

[pic via Swiss Miss (who I love)]

In Search of Adam launch

So I have finally recovered enough from Thursday night to actually write about it. Yes, I know I am deeply feeble, but I've never been all that good at holding my drink and now that I am old, I'm even worse. (Me and my sister both noticed an enormous difference in drinking capacity when we turned 30. I really should have a two drink limit, but after two drinks you forget about it, don't you?)

Anyway. Lovely, lovely, Caroline Smailes whose blog you probably read (and if you don't, you should) had her first novel, In Search of Adam, launched at Waterstone's Manchester. (I used to work just over the road and have spent an awful lot of time in there.)

I'd arranged to go with my friend Hazel, who I met when we both worked in Waterstone's Stockport and who, since we've both had kids, I don't see nearly often enough. So we went for a drink beforehand, got to talking and, inevitably, were almost an hour late for Caroline's launch! An hour! Terrible. I mean, we didn't want to get there early, but an hour is inexcusable. (I have apologised to Caroline, but I don't think I was missed - there were loads of people there!) And I was disappointed because I missed Caroline's reading.

Anyway, I can't tell you how excited I was to meet Caroline. She's just so lovely and her book is so amazing*, as I queued (queued!) to meet her I was almost hopping up and down. Of course, she was lovely and composed and grown-up like a proper author (which of course she is) and I was going, "Hee hee hee! I'm so excited!!"

More wine was supped and then we repaired to a trendy place called Mojo (so trendy that David said they wouldn't let me in) (and also above a hairdressers where I once had my hair cut by a man who kept wiping his nose on his hand and also dripped sweat onto my hair). There was an In Search of Adam cake, which I meant to take a photo of, but didn't (I did eat some though) and Caroline gave a speech and then there was the beer and the unfortunate champagne...

And then I met a man (a friend of Caroline's) who started teaching at my old school the year I left. So we gossiped and reminisced about other teachers for a while. That was fun. (Jon, if you're reading this, the smelly one was Mrs Hale!) 

It was a great night. I just wish it hadn't taken me 24 hours to recover.

*I'll be reviewing In Search of Adam for Trashionista a week on Monday, but I'll just say that it's one of the most affecting books I've ever read. I think it's going to be massive.

Knitted, um, stuff

The internet's an odd place, isn't it? This morning CraftyCrafty featured the Innocent Smoothie hats...

... and then, moments later, I saw these Apple Jackets on Shelterrific:

Weird world, but I like it.

Er...

I know I need to blog about something, but what...?

I could post another Harry video (there's one of him bowling and another of him laughing at piglets), but I've been flogging the Harry horse lately...

I could write about the lovely dream I had about David Tennant (there was snogging), but when I woke up I couldn't stop thinking about Christopher Eccleston. What's that about? (And how scary were the scarecrows in this week's Dr Who?)

I could even moan about how due to an unfortunate series of events (i.e. it was David's fault) our bank returned two direct debits (totalling £12) unpaid and charged us £76 for doing so...

Oh! I know! Last week I discovered So a Blonde Walks Into a Blog and my life has improved as a result! First of all she (I don't know her name, she calls herself aBlondeBlogger) recommended Leslie Schnur's second novel Late Night Talking. I LOVED Schnur's first book, The Dog Walker, and didn't know this one was out. I emailed. It arrived yesterday. (I love my job.)

Following my stressed out post, BlondeBlogger also recommended Meditainment's meditation CDs. I googled them and found the website where you can download hundreds of guided meditations for a small fee and there's even a free one, which is fabulous! Thank you, BlondeBlogger. (I *heart* the internet.)

Procrastination, thy name is Keris

Today I have a lot to do. Loads. Tons. Masses. So what have I spent most of the morning doing? Yes, reposting the first month's archives of this blog. Why?

Because my old blog is still out there not looking as good as this one and someone may Google me and find that one and not be as impressed with me as they would be if they came here and so it must be deleted. But before I can delete it, I have to check that all the posts are here in the archives because it would be terrible to lose, you know, the one about me burning a whole in my trousers with the iron and while I'm checking them I might as well tidy the formatting, correct any lingering embarrassing spelling mistakes, and set the categories, mayn't I?

And so it's 11.44 and February 2003's posts are looking spiffy. And I haven't done a bit of work. (Incidentally, if you subscribe to one of my (many) feeds, you'll find yourself taking a stroll down memory lane. Sorry about that!)

Updated: Added a link to Feb 2003 because I don't want all my hard work to go to waste. Also, today probably wasn't the best day for me to forget that Harry's coming home two hours earlier than usual. Yeah, I can fit a full day's work into 4 hours. No problem...

Household tips and Horoscopes

Thanks to DollyMix I've just discovered The Onion's special Mothers' Day Household Tips. My favourite:

Do you often find yourself wishing there were more hours in the day? Juggling a career, a home, and a relationship can be hard, but you can't let any one of those things go, or you will be a failure as a woman. Taking a regular dose of methamphetamine will give you the energy to successfully manage all three and spare you the inconvenience of sleep.

I love The Onion's horoscopes too, but I never remember to check them. I've just discovered there's a feed, which will improve my life immeasurably!

Scorpio Your local EMTs have a hard, gritty, often tragic life, broken up only by their hilarious weekly calls to your combination distillery and chimp farm.

Reminds me of my favourite ever Far Side cartoon:

Screen break

After a pretty full-on week this week, I've noticed my eyeballs vibrating. Now, I'm no doctor, but I don't think that can be good.

So I'm going to attempt a computer-free weekend. I probably won't manage it (can't resist those pesky emails) but I'll give it a go. So have a lovely weekend everyone! Enjoy the weather!

P.S. Thanks for your comments on my previous post. I'll come back to it next week. Assuming my eyes haven't fallen out of my head.

Argh!

Today I have been so busy that I've barely moved from the pooter. Fortified with only tea, Cheddars and eps of Gilmore Girls on YouTube, I have typed and typed until I could type no more.

And all of this without any music because my iTunes has had some sort of nervy spaz* and won't open. This morning it crashed and now, when I try to open it, I get this message.

I have googled it and followed some simple instructions about "repairing permissions" and one about taking some files out of the folder (yep), opening a now empty iTunes (yep), deleting the replacement files (yep), putting the old files back in (yep) and, presto, it's working (nope). But now the only advice I can find involves "apps" and other technical things I don't understand.

I don't want to lose all my lovely music, even if I only listen to The Darkness, Robbie, Jason Mraz and the Avenue Q cast album, I know the rest of it's there if I need it.

Can anyone help?

*copyright: Louise Rennison :)

Scaredycat

You know I mentioned I've been listening to radio comedy while I work? Well this morning I stuck Down the Line on. There was a warning beforehand about "listeners of a nervous disposition" or something, but I just thought "ha!" and took no notice. Well, more fool me.

Half an hour later I had to phone my sister because, although I was laughing, I was genuinely frightened, covered in goosebumps, and the hair on the back of my neck was thrumming. It is quite brilliantly scary and you can listen to it here (but I'm not sure for how long).

Sorry, can't hang around. Husband is back from his travels and I've got to go and watch him, um, watching the football he taped earlier. Sigh.

Lookylikeys

Ms Mac did this - ooh - eons ago, but I couldn't get it to work back then. I was reminded of it when Maureen did hers (she's the spit of Renee Zellweger!).

I have been compared to a few celebs over the years. Kylie Minogue, Janet Jackson (really!) and Hannah Spearitt, formerly of S Club, latterly of Primeval. I don't see the resemblance with any of them, except perhaps that we're all vertically defeated.

The first pic I tried, I was wearing my glasses and every single match was wearing glasses too. And the first was Jack Osborne! So I scrapped that one and went on the hunt for a specless pic. Since I generally only take my glasses off to sleep, it was hard to find, but I finally scared a sweaty one up from a holiday a couple of years ago. And here's the result:

I don't see Marcia Cross at all (Maureen got her too), but I am very happy with Hayden Panettiere. I saw her in Ice Princess a few weeks ago and got a bit fixated on her. I thought it was because she was a good actress, but perhaps it's because she's my long-lost celebrity sister!

Interesting that the Britney pic is when she was a child. All the other pics were of children, none of whom I'd heard of. Guess I have the phizog of a toddler. So then I tried a different spec shot:

I actually don't mind Elton John because my dad looks quite a lot like Sir Elt, so that's reasonable. I have no idea who Chester Bennington* is, but I can see the similarity and I can't complain about Mandy Moore and Famke Janssen. Result!

So what do you think?

* since Susan asked, I looked him up. He's the lead singer with Linkin Park. I thought Fred Durst was the lead singer with Linkin Park, so I looked him up and he's actually the lead singer with Limp Bizkit and I hope I don't look like him.

Skype me!

I've just got Skype set up. Because I'm a technological doofus, I thought I needed to buy a microphone and head set, etc., and the Skype website doesn't accept my debit card, so I've been trying to find a way around it and then I just thought, why not check if this pooter has a built-in microphone?

So I did a little testy thing and heard my voice speaking back to me out of the computer, which freaked me out. Then I rang Luisa because (a) I'd been threatening to call her for a while and (b) hers was the Skype address-thingie I remembered and that freaked me out even more.

It reminded me of that episode of Friends when Monica's going out with Pete (Jon Favreau) and she's in his office and says, "Call Mom" and all the TVs come on with Pete's mum going, "Hello?"

Anyhoo. If anyone's got Skype - Stella? Gabrielle? - I'm kerisstainton. Over and out.

Happy Shiny person

I know I've mentioned once or twice how much I love my job, but now I've started writing more regularly for TV Scoop, Catwalk Queen and The Bag Lady (along with Trashionista, of course) I love it even more.

Not only do I get free books (free books!), I get paid for writing about Dancing on Ice and now for surfing t'internet looking for pretty bags (and little birdies) and pics of America Ferrera.

It's not exactly what you'd call work, is it?

Sharing the love

The lovely Michelle nominated me for a Share the Love Blog Award in the "Blog You'll Never Stop Reading" category. (Thanks, Michelle!)

So if you've got a minute could you go and vote for me?* Voting closes midnight 6 Feb. Thanks.

*Michelle's been nominated in the "Blogger You'd Most Like to Meet" category, so you could vote for her too, while you're there. Thanks!

Ah, the smell of it!

Obsessions. I have many. Gilmore Girls. Relocation Relocation. Cadbury Mini Eggs (they're back!) New York. And now I have more.

Gabrielle introduced me to Apartment Therapy and then I spotted this. I love "muriels". I love the one in My Name Is Earl (in their room in the motel) and I love this one. Pretty.

Also Radio 4. I know! Who knew The News Quiz was so damn funny (put your hand down, Beki). And Ross Noble. And Down the Line. And on BBC7 you can here old News Quizzes along with Lee and Herring's Fist of Fun and Chewin' the Fat. So now I listen to comedy while I work and podcasts while I walk. When do I listen to music? Um ...

Now I must be off again. I still haven't done my chuffing tax return and every time I try there's a problem with the website. I'm starting to panic. Eep. Eep. Eep. That's me. Panicking.

Oh and remember What Would Barbra Do? It arrived this morning. I love my job.

Stormy weather and random ramblings

So much to say ... where to begin ... ?

I'm a little bit scared and feeble because I've been curled up in front of the pooter in my lovely cosy office all day while slates, fence panels, small dogs, witches on bicycles, etc., have flown past my little window. I don't like it. At all. Plus I haven't been able to go out and not only do I have a bunch of stuff that must be posted asap, but there are also no biscuits (and very little food in general) in the house. How am I supposed to cope with this armageddonesque weather without dark chocolate Digestives? Huh?

But more importantly, Trashionista has been nominated for two awards by the Glam network: Best Tagline ("We read books like they're going out of fashion!") and Best Daily Read. Woo-hoo!

It would be delightful if you would vote. Our categories are on pages 9 and 10 and voting closes on 24 January. Ta muchly.

I'm sure you're all gagging to know what me and H got up to yesterday on Mummy and Harry's Big Day Out. We went to Chorley! Yes, Chorley! We went to Woollies and then then met Daddy for lunch. Then we went to WH Smith and bought CBeebies magazine and then Harry fell asleep on the bus home and didn't even wake up when the bus stopped and I had to carry him home and put him in bed. Can I just point out that when I carry Harry and his head is on my shoulder, his feet reach my knees. In other words, he's two and a half years old and two thirds of my height.

Which reminds me. I've been listening to Radio Four's News Quiz on t'internet. I'd never heard it before and enjoyed it very much. So much that I found one in the archives and listened to that too. Andy Hamilton was a guest and commented that he hates the expression "vertically challenged" because it suggests that if you work hard enough you can overcome it, he said, "I'm not vertically challenged, I'm vertically defeated."

David just phoned and I asked him to buy something nice for tea because apparently it's the end of the world. "Get something end of the world-ish," I said. "Like what?" he replied. "A Viennetta?"

Oh and I also finally - finally! - realised that I could watch the latest series of Gilmore Girls on YouTube. Sometimes my brain is quite shockingly slow. So I watched the first one and it was okay. I'm about halfway through the second one and I still haven't noticed a desperate drop in standards from the old days, but then it had gone off the boil a bit by the sixth series anyway, perhaps if I watched a new one and then a first series one I'd see the difference, but doing that is what put me off The West Wing so I'd better not. Talking of The West Wing ...

Oh dear

One of my old posts. And a new comment.

I don't even know where to begin.

Fame at last!

Thanks to Flaming Nora over at the wonderful Corrieblog, I've just found out that I was featured on the BBC Manchester blog round-up!

Gosh, Claire, at this rate I might be famous enough for Strictly 2009! :)

Twitchy

Along with some other Manchester bloggers, I got a mention on Excite's WebTwitcher!

Shout outs

.. as I believe the young people call this kind of thing. (And once again Favourite Photo Friday will be appearing on a Saturday, when I finally get round to finding a photo - I'm such a slacker.)

I've been meaning to mention these sites for a while, but - you know me - I mean to do a lot of things.

* In Travels With Jean Beki is transcribing the 1950s holiday diaries of Miss Jean Ritchie (a sort-of relative). I did mention this before, but just with a link for my Aunty Barb to follow (she's only just got online and doesn't know what a forward slash or underscore is, so she's a bugger to explain web addresses to over the phone).

* 'You've got your hands full' is Linda's blog about the world of multiple births. Yikes. I should also give Linda a 'shout-out' for coming up with the new tagline for my blog. ("Why are you the Mrs Beeton of blogging?" David asked me earlier.)

* I foolishly forgot to mention Craig McGinty when I blogged about the awards. He was there too and he was, of course, lovely. The first time I met Craig I got a bit drunk (no!) and ended up blethering on at him for hours about (I think) Robbie Williams, and yet amazingly he doesn't run screaming when he sees me.

Autumn

Yep I've "pimped" my blog again. It's Autumn and I'm feeling it.

I'm never sure whether my favourite season is Spring or Autumn, but I'm thinking it's Autumn. I love the bright sunshine combined with the brisk cold. I love the golden evenings (although they've already almost gone - it's dark now). I love the crunchy leaves and the whirlygigs everywhere. I like stomping in puddles and coming back from the park with cold hands and pink cheeks to a cup of hot chocolate. I love stews and soup and snuggling. And I love knowing I don't have to get my kit off again for at least six months. Bliss.

Manchester Blog Awards

First of all can I just say thank you for all your lovely good luck wishes! You're all fabulous (albeit, you know, useless).

We got to the Urbis pretty much dead on 7pm and found the awards were being held in the Conservatory Cafe (which has apparently been renamed The Social). It's my favourite cafe in Manchester, so I was happy. (If you're coming to Manchester, go there and have the halloumi - assuming they still do it. They'd better. They do really good red wine too. Actually, if you're coming to Manchester and planning to go there, email me, I'll meet you for lunch.)

One of the benefits of having your photo on your blog is that people recognise you, so one of my fellow nominees A Free Man in Preston came and introduced himself. He probably won't thank me for saying this, but he was lovely.

A bit later, David said, 'There's not going to be any poetry, is there?' to which I replied, 'Errrrmmmm.'

Yankunian (not her real name!), creator of the Manchizzle blog and organiser of the awards, came over to say hello and she was lovely too*. She told us they'd be starting with some, ahem, poetry readings, followed by a couple of blog readings and then the awards themselves.

So the poetry readings. I don't know much about poetry so we'll just leave it there, shall we? Except I'd like to give a special thanks to David for not bursting through the glass and running back to the car when the words 'covered in shit' and 'yanking out a tampon' were used in the same poem.

The two 'blog readings' were great. 43, which I actually found more poetic than the poetry, and The Airport Diaries, which was very funny.

And then the awards. First award (for best arts and culture blog) went to Yer Mam and I got a sinking feeling when I realised the winner had to go up and collect an envelope (and a T-shirt) and was also encouraged to give a speech. ("Cheers") Second award (best political blog) was won by Normblog, but Norm couldn't be there so his award was collected by Paris Hilton (not really). Next up was Blog of the Year which went to the 43 (who gave a proper speech - cue me downing the dregs of my wine). Finally best personal blog went to A Free Man in Preston** who also gave a funny speech. See I was planning to walk up to the microphone and either throw up or faint (I haven't done much public speaking) so it's probably for the best.

Afterwards I went to congratulate Tim (A Free Man in Preston) and he told me he was just on his way over to me to gloat. Cheeky bugger. The other nominee, Kitchentable, came over to talk to us/suggest a punch-up and he was - yes - lovely too, so I really didn't mind not winning. It was just, you know, nice to be nominated ...

* She looks a lot like the author Sarah Mlynowski

** I've just been reading his blog and despite the hateful thoughts he claims to have been directing towards me (I don't believe him), his blog's really good. Except that until the announcement of his nomination, he hadn't blogged since Sunday, September 3rd, whereas I blog almost every day. I'm not bitter. I'm just saying.

[Dog T-shirt from Sheila Cameron]

Eep

We're off to the Manchester Blog Awards. Wish me luck!

Updated: 10.32pm. I did not win. More tomorrow.

Hours of fun guaranteed

This is strangely addictive! [via jawbone radio which I found via Diane!]

Well now I'm scared ...

I've just read on Wodge's blog that the BBC is going to be attending the Manchester Blog Awards and interviewing people and stuff.

I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to attend, but now that I know the BBC is going to be there I feel that I really should. But also that I couldn't possibly. Because they might want to, you know, ask me things. It's one thing blethering away about all sorts of old chuff here on the interweb, it's quite another thing actually talking to people.

But, look, someone called Andrew Wilshere at Newfred Rebooted has created a logo.

I can't help but notice he's used my site's colours (almost). Could it be a sign ...?

Ahem

Well first of all, I'm very excited to announce that I have been shortlisted for the Manchester Blog Awards!!! I've been nominated in the Best Personal Blog category along with A Free Man In Preston and Kitchentable. You can read all about it here.

And as if that wasn't exciting enough, when we got back from Scotland I found the contract from my agent had arrived. So it wasn't a dream after all.

In other news, some of you already know that David lost my mobile a bit ago. The berk. I thought it would turn up, but it's been a while and it hasn't so I'm going to have to accept it's probably not going to. But all my numbers were on it (along with loads of pics of Harry, and you know how short I am of those!). So if there's anyone reading this whose number I should have, can you email it to me please. And if there's anyone else reading who wants to give me their number, feel free to email it too!

Trashionista is BAFAB!

You may already know about this (since I've emailed practically everyone I've ever met) but just in case .. this week's a big week over at Trashionista. We're running a huge promotion as part of Buy A Friend A Book Week. We've got guest blogs, we've got loads of books to give away, plus we've got all the usual reviews and regular features. In fact, why are you here? Get over there right now and check out:

More on Monday review of Armistead Maupin's Tales of the City
This Is Chick Lit book giveaway
Recipes for The Devil Wears Prada cocktails
Lauren Baratz-Logsted's guest blog
And yet another book giveaway: Wedding Belles by Zoe Barnes

What could you possibly be waiting for?

Delurking Day!

I'm in London for the day (details tomorrow .. hopefully) so I thought I'd take the opportunity to ask you to delurk!

I know there are a lot more people reading this blog than ever comment so please introduce yourselves. As Cilla used to say, "Tell me who you are and where you come from!" Thanks!

[Delurking Day shamelessly nicked from Stu!]

For Aunty Barb

Click on this.

Googling

A few weeks ago a friend admitted to me that he recently got so frustrated trying to name a tune stuck in his head that he typed something along the lines of 'dee de de de de duh de duh de duh de duh duh du-d-duh*' into Google. (It didn't work.) (Also, hello Byron!)

Last week I read a fascinating but terrifying article in the Guardian about the release of AOL customers' search terms and how many of us offload our personal problems onto Google. (It also highlighted how no bugger can spell animore!)

So, of course, I had a look at my own searches:

abi titmuss agency - This was for the glamour modelling article I did for CosmoGIRL!

baby on the boat film - That was for this

donald trump wig comb over - David insists it's a wig while it's clearly a comb over; I've yet to find proof of one or the other

dream dictionary excrement - Um. I quite often dream about poo. It's a control issue apparently.

einstein started talking - Thanks to The Simpsons, I recently learned Einstein didn't talk until he was 3 so there's hope for Harry yet!

hanged munchkin - This is not one of mine. God, my husband's weird.

There. Perfectly reasonable searches. And anyway, if I wanted the answer to, say, why is my bra rubbing under my arms?** I'd ask Jeeves, not Google.

* Did you get it? It was the Lambada!

** Because I've put so much weight on, my boobs are sticking out at the sides. Jeeves didn't tell me that; I worked it out for myself.

How you can lose great chunks of life on the internet

I opened TypePad and started to write a post about Bruno Kirby, but then I wanted a photo of him so I opened a new window and went to my google homepage where I noticed I had 9 new emails ..

so I checked my email ..

there was a notification that someone had replied to a post on my writers' forum ..

I clicked through to the writers forum, read and responded to that post and then read all the posts that had been updated since I was last there ..

one was "my girls" saying they'd like to review for Trashionista so I added the writing guidelines to that post ..

another was a link to someone's mySpace ..

I clicked through, footled around on their site a bit and then friended them which led me to my own page, where I had new comments ..

so I read the new comments and then noticed I had new friend requests ..

whenever I have friend requests usually I check their pages before accepting them, but this morning I couldn't be arsed so I just accepted them all anyway ..

when I closed the MySpace window the WriteWords window was still there, making me feel guilty for not uploading anything for a couple of weeks and not critiquing anything for a couple of days, but my stomach was rumbling so I had to minimise it (for now).

*UPDATE* For people who don't read the comments (What? You've got something better to do?), Wodge led us to this and it made me laugh a lot.

Pimp my blog and more ...

First of all, hope you like the new colours. I've copied them from the Chicklet site so I hope my fellow Chicklet chicks don't mind ...

Secondly, I keep forgetting to thank everyone who weighed in on the hairdo question, especially those who said I do not look like Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall. (We saw his book in Sainsbury's yesterday and David showed it to Harry saying, "Look! There's Mummy!")

Also, I'm Booklish!

Vote now!

I know I've been awol, but I've been busy (wilting in the heat, drinking gallons of water, eating peanut butter fudge, going to the seaside and much, much more!).

I'll try and update (and do Fave Photo Friday) later. But in the meantime, could y'all nip over to Chicklet Lit and vote on which is your fave Meg Cabot series.

There are only two votes at the moment and it looks sad (especially since both votes were cast by me). Merci!

That's what they call me!

I was just doing my occasional wander through the search terms that have brought people here. They were all pretty boring until "very busty girl cn tower".

Actually we didn't get to go to the CN Tower*, but I take your point.

*We've still got the tickets and they're valid until the end of this year if anyone knows anyone who's going to Toronto ... You don't have to be busty (but it helps).

I *heart* MySpace

Someone left me this message on my MySpace page:

yoU are pretty nice to look at too*,

you cant be a human being..noway..u must be an angel...u are dreamly beaitiful...

and you are very beatfull eyes

So true. And they say MySpace is full of nutters. Pah!

* Not sure what the "too" refers to (to what the "too" refers?); I assume he means as well as being highly intelligent ...

At last!

Right my inbox currently contains two messages:

1. A reminder for a call I have to make tomorrow.
2. A bill I need to pay (but can't pay yet).

So once they've both been dealt with I'll have an empty inbox for the first time .. well, ever!

Let's see how long I can keep it that way, eh?

(Can you tell I'm in procrastination mode?)

Laugh-tour (good grief ...)

One of the things I love about t'internet is how one page leads to another and then another and you end up far away from where you started, but having found loads of stuff you probably wouldn't have known about otherwise. This happened to me recently. I found the Powell's Books site, blog and podcast.

Listening to John Hodgman (who I'd already seen on The Daily Show and heard on To the Best of Our Knowledge) introduced me to Jonathon Coulton and his hilarious song Skullcrusher Mountain.

So I headed over to iTunes to subscribe to Jonathon's podcast and found that Adam & Joe have a podcast! The Adam & Joe Show was responsible for two of my favourite ever telly moments: the scene in ER when Gant was brought in and Fight Club, both recreated with toys ("The first rule of Tufty Club is look both ways before you cross the road. The second rule of Tufty Club is .. look both ways before you cross the road"). But the podcast introduced me to R Kelly's "hip-hopera" Trapped In The Closet (go here (it's Podcast 2) and listen to it immediately*. I mean it.)

At first I didn't believe it could possibly be real. I mean, I know R Kelly's .. well .. I know he's not exactly .. um .. well, anyway, I didn't think it was real. But I googled it and it is. So that led me to this. And then this** (I've only watched one so far. I'm pacing myself). And then I found someone had recreated it with toys.

And then I had to stop and have a long lie down.

I *heart* the internet.

* I listened to it on my iPod in the street. That would be a mistake. Unless you want your neighbours to think you are insane. Seriously. Tears of laughter (followed by those embarrassing sobs that hapen when you try and suppress laughter).

** You HAVE to watch this. Honestly, you just HAVE to. Your life will be improved immeasurably, I guarantee it. Either that or you'll want to kill yourself.

Mooo

Sometimes you come across something on the internet that's total genius. I just signed up to this and now I can't stop grinning. I think it might be the picture of the cow.

I make and update a list every morning and this is going to make things so much easier. It's sad the things that make me happy nowadays.

And, Nikki, I found it here (My current bathroom reading. Sorry, TMI?).