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"It was an attempt to combine musical theatre with police drama"
If you're an obsessive fan of Gilmore Girls (Hi, Diane and Stella!) you may have already seen this, but I only just got around to looking it up ... and I could not believe my eyes. Or ears.
Just to be clear, this is a real TV show. And not only that, this is what Steven Bochco did after Hill Street Blues.
My mum loved Burt Reynolds. I love Burt Reynolds. I mean, who doesn't love Burt Reynolds?
And now that I've seen his house, I love him more. (Although these days when I see his super-tight face, I love him a little bit less.)
Look at that games room! And I love how he's got one of his own films playing in the screening room. You can't buy class like that!
I can't believe I forgot to mention this!
Walking down the roughest (but, funnily enough, the flashest - satellite dishes and everything!) row of "chalets" towards the end of the holiday, we heard a woman say, "Have you done that, Jamie Lee?"
David crammed his fist in his mouth to stop himself laughing, but I didn't think it was so bad. There are worse people to be named after than Jamie Lee Curtis. It could have been Jamie Lynn (Spears).
But then I heard (and thankfully, David missed it because I don't think his fist could've saved him):
"Put your flip-flops on, Shania."
Genius.
I'm very bad at writing letters. I write them in my head and then that seems to suffice, and I don't bother to actually *write* them (the exception being the stinker I wrote to C*ntinental Airlines after the New York return flight fiasco, but that's another story*).
I've recently read a couple of utterly brilliant letters that I thought I'd share. They're completely different, but equally hilarious.
The first is by Wendi Aarons and is an open letter to Proctor and Gamble regarding Always Maxi Pads and includes the following:
But my favorite feature has to
be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company
smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be
aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month
knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.
The second is by Pulitzer Prize-winning author Robert Olen Butler. It was actually an email he sent to colleagues explaining about his marital break-up. It's quite the most staggeringly obnoxious, arrogant and wrong-headed thing I've ever read. Brilliant in its awfulness, it includes the following:
She will not be Ted's only girlfriend. Ted is permanently and avowedly non-monogamous. But though he has several girlfriends, it is a very small number, and he does not take them up lightly and he gives them his absolute support when he does. And Elizabeth's leaving me is as much about the three weeks a month she is alone as it is about the week a month she is with Ted. She will find her own space and her own light in which to create the great works of art she is destined to create.
You have to read the comments, if only for the "you had me at intestinal blockage" which makes me laugh every time I think about it.
*which I just realised I've promised to tell, but haven't (at least I don't think so). I will one day.
I've just written a post for Bridalwave about a woman who had 24 bridesmaids. But that's not what's got me grinning like a goon, oh no.
One of the bridesmaids was her youngest daughter ... Cinderella Rose.
Thanks to Bridalwave, I've just watched this and this and this. I am so happy.
David loves Hawksbee & Jacobs on TalkSport and though I'm not particularly interested in sport, I quite like it too. The other day they were talking about American football star Tank Johnson who recently spent 60 days in prison and ordered in his own food. This food:
| Beef sticks | 162 |
| Honey buns | 40 |
| Summer sausage | 35 |
| Chips | 35 |
| Coffee | 22 |
| Fruit punch | 10 |
| Tuna fish | 10 |
| Jalapeno cheese spread | 9 |
| Tortillas | 9 |
| Refried beans | 6 |
| Cookies | 6 |
| Reese's cups | 5 |
| Lemonade | 5 |
| Swiss rolls | 4 |
| Dill pickles | 3 |
| Sugar | 3 |
| Cream | 3 |
| Oatmeal sandwiches | 3 |
| Bag of Jolly Ranchers | 2 |
| Butterfingers | 2 |
| Peanut butter bars | 2 |
| Cupcakes | 1 |
I enjoyed Hawksbee's comment that Tank only ordered one cupcake because he didn't want to make a pig of himself, but the report in the Chicago Sun-Times made me laugh quite a lot too:
"He also appeared to try to put together a Mexican dinner, ordering nine tortillas, six packs of refried beans and nine packages of jalapeno cheese spread during his stay."
I love that, "He also appeared to try..." Brilliant. It sounds like he was being studied. "Tortillas? Refried beans? He appears to be trying to put together a Mexican dinner! Get the camera!"
It also made clear that "nutritionists don't advise anyone to follow Johnson's food choices". Heh.
I decided I didn't want a depressing, outraged post at the top and luckily, thanks to Meg Cabot, I had this photo saved.
How can I be depressed when there are books called *splutter* Gentle Rogue, with covers featuring *snort* Fabio?
And just in case you haven't already seen them (or even if you have), go and laugh yourself sick at these and these!
You know things are bad when you find yourself googling around the internet trying to find out what Mel B's named her baby ... but then it all turns out fine when you discover Celebrity Baby Names blog and learn that someone called Penn Jillette and his wife Emily Zolten, last year named their daughter Moxie Crimefighter.
Moxie Crimefighter
Let's all take a moment, shall we?
Moxie Crimefighter
Do you know, it's stuff like this that makes me glad to be alive.
My sister just told me about this (she saw the couple on Richard & Judy) and I had to check it out. It made me laugh so much (but in a good way; it's lovely) I thought I'd share.
Why did no-one tell me that one of Jermaine Jackson's sons was named Jermajesty? Would it have killed you to email me?
Last night we watched The Daily Show, which I love more than almost anything else and they showed a clip of White House Press Secretary Tony Snow defending the decision to send more troups to Iraq by saying the following:
"Let me put it simply: If the U. S withdraws, does it make Osama bin Laden happy or sad?"
Have you ever heard anything so obnoxious, condescending, simplistic and downright stupid?! And yet, as offensive as it is, it makes me laugh every time I think about it.
In case you missed India Knight and Julie Burchill's exchange of emails, you can read it here. Good grief.
I was wondering about the actress Natasha Lyonne just a few days ago, after catching her guest turn on Will & Grace. I remember she had a possibly drink-fuelled car accident, but then hadn't heard anything about her for ages. Now I read that she's turned herself in to the police, almost a year after a warrant was issued for her arrest.
According to IMDb, the warrant was issued after she missed four court hearings on charges from harassment to trespassing. The article goes on, "She also stands accused of making threats to sexually molest a neighbor's dog during an argument two years ago."
I'm sorry. Let me stop you there. Making threats to sexually molest a neighbour's dog? Is that a crime? Actually sexually molesting dogs I can see would be a crime. But threatening to? And how often does this happen that they need to make it against the law?
Last night I had a really weird dream that a woman was arrested for rape after calling room service and sticking a banana up the waiter's bum. (No, I have no idea how my mind works.) Could I be arrested for having thoughts about (someone else - it wasn't me, honest) sexually molesting room-service waiters? I'm a bit worried (to be fair, I was already a bit worried by the dream, even before I read I could end up in the slammer).
But most of all, I really, really want to know what it was Natasha Lyonne said to that dog. Really.
I don't really have "guilty pleasures". A lot of the stuff that brings me pleasure would certainly fit that category (Barry Manilow, DIY SOS, Brendan Cole), but I don't feel guilty about any of it (well, maybe a tiny bit about Brendan Cole). But there's this other arena - stuff that's really godawful, but makes me laugh every time I think about it. And I don't mean I'm laughing at it (although there is an element of that) but it's just so ludicrous or fabulous that it makes me really, genuinely happy while at the same time, being a bit horrifying. But that's obviously too long to be a category, so I'm calling it "Happyshit".
Do you know what I mean? Previous exampes include Geri Halliwell naming her daughter Bluebell Madonna and TomKat's wedding vows. I bring this up now because, thanks to Go Fug Yourself, I've just spent a very happy five minutes with this:
Pure joy. And while I'm on the subject, tonight's TV viewing:
5.50 Strictly Come Dancing
6.40 The X Factor featuring Barry Manilow (slight crossover there, could be problematic)*
9.00 Queer Eye for the Straight Guy (first half hour only)
9.30 Strictly Come Dancing results show
9.30 An Audience with Take That (have to miss first 25 mins - pah!)*
10.30 (I think) Take That Live
What kind of freak would go out on a Saturday night? I'll be needing a bottle of wine, a box of Maltesers (taste better out of a box), pyjamas, lots of cushions, husband out of the way, etc.
*stupid TV/video aren't tuned properly so can't tape a different channel to the one I'm watching. Useless. Have had it fixed before, but it cost £40.
