keris stainton

Stranger With My Face

Last week's Fine Lines on Jezebel was Lois Duncan's Stranger With My Face, which I read as a teenager more than once. It's about a girl who finds that she has an evil twin she knew nothing about. Astral projection is also involved (I was gutted when Luisa reminded me of this, since I thought I'd written the first teen astral projection novel!).

Anyway, this struck me:

....it was a good thing Jeff did have that summer, because halfway through the next one a can of lighter fluid exploded and burned off half his face...

The left side of his face was fine. If you saw him at a certain angle, you'd have thought he was the best-looking guy you'd ever seen. If you saw him from the right, you had to stop and swallow hard.

I have always remembered that, but had no idea where I was remembering it from!

I also love the comment:

"Oh, and the first time Laurie astrally projects and doesn't feel the snap back into her body? Because someone else was in it? Has to be the worst feeling ever."

I bet.

Another book meme

Am feeling rough today, so a meme it is! Linda tagged me on this book list, which I've seen on lots of blogs and may even have done once before, but what the heck.

You are supposed to:
Look at the list and:
1) Bold those you have read.
2) Italicise those you intend to read.
3) [Bracket] the books you LOVE.
4) Reprint this list on your own blog.

1 [Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen]
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4 [Harry Potter series - JK Rowling]
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6 The Bible
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens

Who's up for doin' it daily?

This morning I read an article on the Daily Mail's website* about Charla Muller, an American woman who decided to give her husband the gift of daily sex for his 40th birthday.

My first thought - inexplicably, really - was "what a great idea". Then, much more in character, I thought, "I bet she got a book out of it." She did.

Anyway. I think I'm going to be writing about the actual idea for my Smug Married column, but there were a couple of things in the article that bothered me. First:

"What's interesting - and compelling - is that Charla is the most unlikely sex guru. Church-going and cookie-baking, she exudes wholesomeness. Physically, she admits to being 'sturdily built' and is on the wrong side of 40."

Why do ANY of those things suggest that she wouldn't be a sexual or sensual woman? In 2008 does "wholesomeness" really suggest a lack of sexuality or sexual interest? I know it was the Daily Mail, but are we still really so caught up in the whole Madonna/whore thing? Yeah, okay, I know we are, but I was still shocked.

Again, "Doesn't it smack of the advice meted out in Fifties manuals about being a good wife by meeting your husband's needs and to hell with your own?"

Er, why is sex "meeting your husband's needs" at the expense of your own? Is it too far-fetched to imagine that Charla might too have enjoyed the sex? (She certainly says she did and that the whole idea helped their marriage.)

Something else intrigued me though. Only last week I was complaining on Trashionista about the glut of sex memoirs. Of course, 365 Nights is also a sex memoir, but I can't wait to read it. So it seems that I only disapprove of books about promiscuous young single women and not middle-aged mothers trying to fit a bit of rumpo around the telly and the housework...

*And be sure not to miss the hilariously judgemental (and, of course, simply mental) comments on the Mail site.

Selling books and stressing out

Since I read so many books and I don't have room to keep them all, I sell quite a few online. I generally use the same site and usually try to post any sold book within three days, but last week I had three to send and due to various circumstances, I couldn't. I think I posted one after a week.

I didn't do this lightly, I have to say. I kept fretting and worrying about it and then I was thinking, "God, it's only a couple of quid - I'll send it as soon as I get a chance! You're not the boss of me!" Etc.

Today, I checked the feedback on the site and the buyer has complained thus:

    "no apology for lateness, no packing slip, no returns address."

You know that's given me a grabby, panicky feeling in my stomach, don't you? You know that I want to find that person's email and send them a grovelling apology?

But, at the same time, I want to defend myself and since there's no way of contacting them, I might as well do it here. There was no apology for lateness because I packaged the book immediately and so the only option for apologising was either repacking it (which I wasn't willing to do) or scrawling it on the outside of the envelope. No packing slip? No packing slip?! Who cares about a packing slip? Ditto for no returns address. I wouldn't even notice the absence of a packing slip or returns address, would you?

People are weird, aren't they? (Unless it's me you think is weird, which is fine too.)

Dream book meme

Another fab book meme, this one pinched from Claire.

1) Which book do you irrationally cringe away from reading, despite seeing only positive reviews?

Any political biography or autobiography. I find Bill Clinton interesting and I've had his autobiography for years, but I can't bring myself to pick it up.

2) If you could bring three characters to life for a social event (afternoon tea, a night of clubbing, perhaps a world cruise), who would they be and what would the event be?

Ooh, what a thrilling idea. On the assumption that if I brought him to life, he'd have to sleep with me, I'd have to choose Peekay from The Power of One. I was so in love with him when I read that novel... Then I'd need Mouse from the Tales of the City books and maybe Cornelia from Marisa de los Santos's Love Walked In and Belong to Me. As for the event, well ... following some sort of hotel-based debauchery with Peekay, I'd go out for dinner with Cornelia and then to a gay club with Mouse. Aw. I wish this was really happening now. Pah.

3) (Borrowing shamelessly from the Thursday Next series by Jasper Fforde): you are told you can’t die until you read the most boring novel on the planet. While this immortality is great for a while, eventually you realise it’s past time to die. Which book would you expect to get you a nice grave?

I did an English Lit degree so I have many to choose from. I couldn't finish Ivanhoe, but it was Middlemarch that made me lose the will to live.

4) Come on, we’ve all been there. Which book have you pretended, or at least hinted, that you’ve read, when in fact you’ve been nowhere near it?

I can't think of any... In fact, David is shocked at how ill-read I am, despite the fact that I read all the time and I've done an English degree, but the classics just tend not to do it for me. Given my job, maybe everyone assumes I've read The Devil Wears Prada, but I haven't!

5) You’re interviewing for the post of Official Book Advisor to some VIP (who’s not a big reader). What’s the first book you’d recommend and why?

Oh goodness. Probably The Power of One again. I can't imagine anyone not loving it. Also Barbara Vine's Asta's Book, which I recommend to EVERYONE.

6) A mischievous fairy comes and says that you must choose one book that you will reread once a year for the rest of your life (you can read other books as well). Which book would you pick?

Martha Beck's The Joy Diet, I think. I *should* re-read it every year since it's a fabulously inspiring manifesto for living the life of your dreams. In fact, I must read it again soon.

8) That good fairy is back for one final visit. Now, she’s granting you your dream library! Describe it. Is everything leather bound? Is it full of first edition hardcovers? Pristine trade paperbacks? Perhaps a few favourite authors have inscribed their works? Go ahead-let your imagination run free.

If I could manage to keep it clean and tidy, my current office/library is pretty ideal. The massive piles of books, padded envelopes, kitchen roll (pulled off the roll by a small boy), shoes, receipts and sundry crap, plus the maiden covered in damp clothes, aren't exactly relaxing.

I once saw a picture of Drew Barrymore's library and I coveted it for ages (sadly the house it was in burned down). From memory, the walls were floor to ceiling wooden shelving (hence the fire). There was a fabulously comfortable-looking green velvet (suede?) sofa and the light was gorgeous.

That aside, I'd have my books arranged by colour, a full collection of the Enid Blyton Dean & Sons editions, a shelf full of various editions and translations of my own books (this is a dream library, right?), Orla Kiely furniture, fresh flowers at all times ... and a book signed to me by George Clooney: "My darling, how I wish we could be together..."

Looky here

I love Amy Krouse Rosenthal's books so I was excited to find this new site where you can read a whole picture book. How cute is this Little Pea?

Author meme

I'm a bit busy this week, I'm afraid, and I've had a few memes saved up so... here's one from Claire.

1. Who is your all-time favourite author, and why?

Armistead Maupin. Because I became totally involved in his Tales of the City series at a difficult time in my life. I love how easy he makes it look (and I know how hard it is to make it look so easy.) And then he released Michael Tolliver Lives, which I cried reading because I was just so happy to be back with the characters I loved so much. Also I met him and he was lovely.

2. Who was your first favourite author, and why? Do you still consider him or her among your favourites?

Enid Blyton. Because she took me to other worlds - whether fantastical worlds like the Magic Faraway Tree or just somewhere totally alien to me like Malory Towers. I was desperate to go up that tree and see which world I was in. To meet Moonface and eat those exploding biscuits (what where they called?) and I was equally desperate to go to Malory Towers and become friends with Daryl. In fact, I still wish I could do both. And, yes, when I re-read the Malory Towers books (I should re-read the Magic Faraway Tree, but I'm a bit scared it won't live up to my memories), I enjoy them just as much ... and still want to go to boarding school!

3. Who’s the most recent addition to your list of favourite authors, and why?

Maureen Johnson. Mad as a fish, but an utterly brilliant writer. I've only read four of her books (I'm trying to pace myself and save her for a "treat") - 13 Little Blue Envelopes, The Bermudez Triangle, Suite Scarlett and Devilish - but I loved them all and they are all completely different.

4. If someone asked you who your favourite authors were right now, which authors would first pop out of your mouth? Are there any you’d add on a moment of further reflection?

Meg Cabot. Meg Cabot. Meg Cabot.
On reflection ... Meg Cabot.
But also Sarah Addison Allen since I just adored her debut Garden Spells.

5. Tagged
Rules: Link to the person that tagged you, post the rules somewhere in your meme, answer the Author questions, tag some people in your post, let the tagees know they’ve been chosen by leaving a comment on their blog, let the tagger know your entry is posted.
Here are my tagees…

Gabrielle, Stella and Michelle (I can't be bothered doing any of the above, sorry.)

Sit, Ubu, Sit

I'm so excited about this book!

"Sit, Ubu, sit." "Good dog." was the production company logo thingie at the end of Family Ties, which I LOVED.

By scriptwriter and producer, Gary David Goldberg, it's subtitled: How I went from Brooklyn to Hollywood with the Same Woman, the Same Dog, and a Lot Less Hair.

Sounds like a perfect holiday read to me. Now I just need to book a perfect holiday...

Me and a meme

Thanks for all your lovely comments. I'm feeling a bit better at the moment. I don't know about you, but whenever I've got a cold it gets worse throughout the day until, by evening, I'm in a right two and eight. So I'm trying to get a lot done before I flake out in front of the telly. Again.

And so a meme! I was tagged by gorgeous Gabrielle for a book meme.

Here's how it works:

1. Pick up the nearest book.
2. Open it to page 123
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the next three sentences.
5. Tag five people, and acknowledge who tagged you (and I understand that etiquette calls for you to avoid "tagging" someone else who has already been sent the meme, if possible).

My book is What the Lady Wants (which was called The Little Lady and the Prince in the US) and which, can I just say, is a perfect, comforting, sick bed book. Here's page 123:

I could take him to Mummy's first night at the art gallery, for instance, and then there was an old schoolfriend Kitty, now in PR, who was organising a charity Sports Day. Nelson was bound to know someone at Cowes Week, Granny had seats at Wimbledon, where he could be seen to admire the ladies' final without actively admiring the ladies, and I could drag him off to the Goodwood Revival meeting in Daddy's old Aston, to show how much he cared about history and tradition.

Add in the contracts I had on various society gossip columns, and friends' younger sisters who worked the door list on various nightclubs...

That makes it sound much more Jilly Cooper than it actually is. I love the Little Lady Agency books and I think this one might be my favourite of the three.

And I'm tagging ... Michelle, Claire, Lisa, Fionnuala and Diane.

Oh Universe, you're really spoiling me

Okay, yesterday Trashionista got a friend request on GoodReads from Evan Handler. Evan Handler!

He's got a book out, which is why he's on GoodReads, but you know who he is, don't you?

He was in The West Wing, i.e. my Favourite TV Show of All Time (Seasons 1-4)! He was in Sex and the City! He was in Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip! He's in Californication, i.e. my Favourite New(ish) TV Show.

He's Evan Handler! I love him!

So I sent him a message, basically telling him I'm a huge fan (I offered to review his book too, obviously).

This morning I got a reply. From Evan Handler. And, yes, there's a good chance it's not him - it's really his assistant or his publicist - but I don't care. It begins "Keris" and ends "Evan" and that's enough for me.

He thanked me for my "nice comments" and didn't even say "which chilled me to my very core." (No, I'm kidding, I was very restrained.)

Plus I asked him if they were making more Californications and they are! Taping starts "soon". (Not quite the exciting inside info I was looking for, but still.)

I love my job.

Miaow!

I'm on Galleycat!

(Yeah, okay, it's Trashionista, not me. But it's my name on there, not the site's!)

More stories

I realised last night that I'd love to hear the stories of some of you who haven't got blogs - like Suzi, Sarah, Mil - so you could put them in the comments, if you like. That would make me happy. :)

The stories of my life

Claire has challenged me to blog about five books that changed my life. So here goes!

Aged 10 and under

I had to think a lot about this. Of course, the Magic Faraway Tree books spring to mind. Also the Malory Towers series. And Heidi. And What Katy Did. And A Cricket in Times Square (listing the ones I rejected isn't cheating, is it?), but I finally landed upon Pamela Brown's The Swish of the Curtain. I don't remember much about it, but I know it gave me a hankering for stage school that still hasn't gone away...

Teens

Another struggle, since teens covers such a broad array of reading, but I went with my first thought and that was the Sweet Dreams book, Thinking of You by Jeanette Nobile. I was utterly obsessed with Sweet Dreams books (I mean, OBSESSED!) and this was my favourite. I already wanted to write when I discovered them, but they were books I felt like I *could* write. And, um, still do.

Twenties

Another hard choice, but I rejected The Power of One in favour of the Tales of the City series. Once I'd read the first I was hooked and I believe I may have bunked off work to read them (I *know* I bought them by getting cashback on Switch when there was no money in my account to pay for them... you could do that in those days).

I just adored them and they've given me a lifelong love of San Francisco (not to mention of Armistead Maupin). Again, an inspiration for the books I want to write in that the characters and settings are just so utterly real (when I went to the Safeway featured in the book, I admit I had a secret hope that Mary Ann and Michael really would be there!).

Thirties

There could only really be one book for my thirties and that's Finding Your Own North Star by Martha Beck, since it changed - and continues to steer - the course of my life. I originally read it for free in various Borders and Barnes & Nobles in the US, while we travelled in 2001. It made me really think about what I wanted to do and what was holding me back. I didn't do it as soon as we got back, but I managed it eventually.

Harry

I have to pick a baby book, don't I? I thought about I Love You Through and Through, which we bought for Harry in Canada (when we went without him, poor lamb) and it's just such a gorgeous book, but I think it has to be Hippos Go Berserk. I read it to my tummy when I was pregnant and David tried to recite it to me during labour (I'm not sure what his intentions were, but he made me laugh) and now Harry can recite it to us.

That was fun! Now I'd like to hear yours! Stella? Gabrielle? Michelle? Lisa? (I would link, but you know who you are ... and I can't be bothered.)

March Madness update 4

When I said "every day" obviously I meant every weekday since weekends are a bust around here. Friday was fine (except I fell off the chocolate wagon - long story - but I had a Ripple and I didn't even enjoy it, they're very "cloying" aren't they?) and yesterday I managed the tea, water, and flossing, but we didn't have enough fruit and veg for me to get 5 (I got 4) and I forgot the no computer rule and, after we'd watched a film on the computer, clicked over to Amazon to finish an order I'd placed earlier in the day.

Just to set the scene, I'm currently waiting for a couple of payments and so we are skint. Like £50 in the bank until I get paid (and who knows when that will be) skint. But I had a £40 Amazon gift certificate, which I decided to use to cheer myself up.

After a lot of fussing and price comparisons, etc., I had a basket full of inspiring, exciting books and one utterly fabulous DVD that I used to have but loaned to someone who never returned it. I added my gift certificate. I ticked a little box that said I wanted to apply the gift certificate to my order, clicked order and then read the little message that said "Your order has been charged to your debit card". After doing one of Monica's "Noooooooooo!" screams, I logged on to my bank account to find that, yes, Amazon had taken £40 and we now have £10 to last us until I get paid (and who knows when that will be).

After a little cry on David's shoulder, I sent Amazon a furious email. They replied with "We apologise for any inconvenience caused" and told me that gift certificates can't be applied against Marketplace orders. "Wouldn't it be a good idea to tell people that before they place an order?" I asked. "Yes, it would. We will consider doing so in future," they replied.

What was my point? I'm not sure I had one. I think I may have just wanted to rant about Amazon. But then again, this may serve as a heads-up that until I get paid (and who knows when that will be), when things run out they won't be replaced and that will impact on March Madness. Already I've flossed my last, but I've still got those tiny leetle interdental toothbrush thingies the dentist sold me last time I went, so they'll do to be going on with.

Frankly it's a good job I'm off the chocolate (and can't afford to buy any anyway), because it's times like this I could merrily eat myself into a sugar stupor.

On the plus side, physically I still feel great and I'm finding it much easier both to get up in the mornings and to bounce wildly on Harry's bed singing, "Maisy! Maisy! Maisy, Maisy, Maisy. Maisy! Maisy! Maisy, Maisy Mouse. Maisy, Maisy Mouse." With Harry, I mean, not on my own.

Go and buy this book!

My lovely, lovely friend Luisa's fabulous first book is out today and you should all go and buy it immediately.

I'm not just saying that because Luisa's my friend - it's such a charming, sweet and funny book. I've read it more than once and I'd recommend it to anyone (even David, and he's a crusty curmudgeon).

If you don't believe me, read this glowing review*.

* that I wrote.

Long Distance by Tony Harrison

We studied Tony Harrison at university and I love this poem. Makes me cry every time.

Though my mother was already two years dead
Dad kept her slippers warming by the gas,
put hot water bottles her side of the bed
and still went to renew her transport pass.

You couldn't just drop in.  You had to phone.
He'd put you off an hour to give him time
to clear away her things and look alone
as though his still raw love were such a crime.

He couldn't risk my blight of disbelief
though sure that very soon he'd hear her key
scrape in the rusted lock and end his grief.
He knew she'd just popped out to get the tea.

I believe life ends with death, and that is all.
You haven't both gone shopping; just the same,
in my new black leather phone book there's your name
and the disconnected number I still call. 

[source]

Little boxes

Remember when I wrote about Little Boxes?

Well last week I was sitting in the soft play place of Harry's heart and reading Through Thick and Thin by Alison Pace and I read the following:

Today she sees the buildings, as she sometimes does, as boxes. Boxes filled with other boxes, with more boxes.

And I thought to myself, "Ooh, just like Little Boxes" and then - right at that very second - Little Boxes started playing over the P.A. !!!!

There's also a great line in the book that I think I might write on my wall. The main character is struggling a bit at her first yoga class and the instructor says, "Don't try too hard. Try easy."

Try easy

I must admit, that's what I've been trying to do for the last few months and I'm definitely trying easier... still got a bit of a way to go though.

Things That Make Me Happy No. 3: Marian Keyes

I've mentioned it before, but it really does give me a little frisson of delight whenever I see that Marian Keyes' monthly newsletter has arrived in my in-box. This month was no exception. Well, apart from the fact that the following made me laugh so much I had a painful and unpleasant coughing fit. (Has anyone else got this cough? Doesn't it feel like you're going to tear something vital?)

Massages were included in the price of the week but Himself refused to have his. When pressed he admitted that he feared that he might ‘make a show’ of himself on the table and confuse the masseuse into thinking he was looking for a ‘happy ending.’ I mentioned this to Caitriona my sister, who is a nurse and no-nonsense about this sort of thing. “Oh it happens all the time,” she sez. (the show-making, not the happy ending.) “The girls are well used to it. If things get out of hand, they just hit it with a spoon.” I relayed this information to Himself, who remained doubtful. I came up with a solution: we would have a trial run.

So off we went and when things reached optimum position, so to speak, I gave it a stout clatter with a soup spoon, but sadly mes amies, the stout clatter wasn’t sufficient to deflate things. We were baffled and so were all the others in the dining room. (My little joke. We were alone.) I offered to inflict an even stouter clatter, but he cupped his hands protectively around his region, telling me to get lost, that I might bruise it. We considered that we might be using the wrong sort of spoon, Himself seemed convinced that if the spoon was wooden it would do the trick, but we had no way of getting our hands on a wooden spoon, so we decided that all things considered, it was probably best if he opted out of the massages.

December

December! Can you believe it? I've decided that, for me, December is going to be all about fun, rest, relaxation and housekeeping. Not cleaning (obviously), but finishing things I've started (not least my YA novel), doing my tax return, organising my files, hanging pictures and mirrors, getting rid of stuff ... that sort of thing. Also seeing friends. And going to London for a wedding and (squee!) to see Avenue Q again. I'm very excited actually.

I'm also really excited about Christmas this year. It's been a bit flat for a while and I've struggled to get up much enthusiasm (it's hard to get excited when your presents include dish clothes and washing-up bowls), but, for the first year, Harry's taking an interest and, yesterday, we bought out tree. It's only about 5ft high, but once it was out of the bag it was massive, at least five feet wide too! It takes up about a quarter of our front room. I bought loads of extra decorations and fairy lights and tonight we're going to play Christmas music, eat mince pies, drink Bailey's (well, that'll just be me) and decorate the house. I can't wait.

Despite not being religious myself (and nor is David), I want Harry to know what Christmas is about. When, at preschool, the teacher asked that question, the answers ranged from "Rudolf" to "presents" to "snowmen" and "cake", but no-one mentioned the Little Baby Jesus. Luckily, one of my favourite children's books of all time is Jesus's Christmas Party by Nicholas Allan. It teaches the Christmas story in an entertaining manner and without banging you over the head with that pesky religious aspect (!). I used to recommend it all the time when I worked in Waterstone's and everyone loved it.

In other news, I still feel like hell on wheels. I'm now totally bunged up, with a hideous hacking cough, watery eyes and a throat that feels like I'm swallowing razor blades. But am I feeling sorry for myself? Yes, I am.

Look! A book meme!

I was going to do this meme when Ms Mac did it a while ago, but then I forgot. I was only reminded when Diane did it. And since Diane added a question, I've added one too. 

What have you just read?

Five Things I Can't Live Without by Holly Shumas. Loved it.

What are you reading now?

Monkey Star by Brenda Scott Royce and I've also started Forever Amber to check if I like it enough to take on holiday.

Do you have any idea what you’ll read when you’re done with that?

Why yes, because I have to plan my holiday reading in advance. I'm taking Karen Bosnak's 20 Times A Lady, which I've wanted to read for ages. Also the Television Without Pity Book (is that okay, Diane? I won't get sand on it, honest!). Probably Forever Amber and three books that both me and David will read. (You see, we're going for nine nights so we need nine books: three for me, three for him and three we can both read. Not that we're anal or anything.)

What’s the worst thing you were ever forced to read?

American Psycho for my degree. I just loathed everything about it. I ended up forcing myself to read about half of it because I just wanted it over with and out of my life.

What’s one book you always recommend to just about anyone?

Asta's Book by Barbara Vine. I don't know anyone who hasn't loved it.

Admit it, sadly the librarians at your library know you on a first name basis, don’t they?

Actually, they do. Or at least one of them does. He's got a daughter Harry's age and he likes to chat. Also, my fines pay his wages.

Is there a book you absolutely love, but for some reason, people never think it sounds interesting, or maybe they read it and don’t like it at all?

Probably Frank Skinner's autobiography. It's one of the best books I've ever read - intelligently written, funny, moving, but, yes, also disgusting (but memorably so). People are wary of celebrity memoirs and loads of people don't like Frank Skinner, but it's such a fabulous book.

Do you read books while you eat?

Yep.

While you bathe?

Yes. The bath's my favourite place to finish a book I'm really enjoying. No distractions there.

While you watch movies or tv?

Sometimes, if something's not holding my attention.

While you listen to music?

No. If there's music on while I'm reading, I don't hear it because I'm involved in the book.

While you’re on the computer?

No. I can't stand reading on screen.

When you were little did other children tease you about your reading habits?

I don't think so. I've always been a bookworm though - I was Librarian at primary school - so, on second thoughts, probably.

What’s the last thing you stayed up half the night reading because it was so good you couldn’t put it down?

Ooh. Well, now that I'm old I can't stay up reading, but the last book I couldn't put down was Neat Vodka by Anna Blundy. I didn't really fancy it, but it was fab.

Have any books made you cry?

The World According to Garp I had to put down because I was crying so much I couldn't focus. My Sister's Keeper had me sobbing in Starbucks. The Power of One, both because it was sad and because I didn't want it to end.

I've decided to tag people because I'm very book nosey. So Claire, Emily, Natalie, Nikki and Helen. (Apologies if you've already done it and I've forgotten.)

I was going to tag Lisa, but then I saw she'd beaten me to it.

My Sister's Keeper

I wrote about this at Trashionista, expecting a flood of outraged comments, but there hasn't been a single one. I'm outraged though, so I'm bringing it here!

Cameron Diaz has been cast as the mother in the film version of Jodi Picoult's My Sister's Keeper. The mother! Of three teenagers! And it's an incredibly complicated character. I love Cammie, but for lighthearted comedy, not heart-wrenching drama.

Surely someone shares my horror... Anyone? Bueller?

What's your secret?

Post Secret is one of those things that I feel "meh" about until I read it and it moves me. This happens almost every week (it's in The Guardian on Saturday), so I don't know why I haven't accepted how amazing it is before now. I think after watching this video I might have actually, finally, got it though.

Some of the secrets are disturbing, some are upsetting, but some are inspiring. One in particular spoke to me: Every day is a compromise. I feel that too and it needs to change. So what do I need to do? Hmm. I'm working on it. More later (plus - hopefully - some film of "Hello, goots!").

The happiest "hag" in town

How happy do I look? I look like an overexcited chipmunk! This, for the philistines among you, is Armistead Maupin, probably my absolutely favourite author.

He read from his fabulous new book - Michael Tolliver Lives - and then answered questions. He was extremely funny, charming and open and it was a lovely, lovely evening.

Gabrielle, I really wanted to ask him your Kool-Aid question and I practiced it in the queue, but when I got to the front I was just too shy. (I know!) I also wanted to ask if it was as emotional for him to write the book as it was for me to read it, but I just dribbled instead.

And he signed my gorgeous Tales of the City first edition, see! 

As you an imagine, there were a lot of them there homosexual types there and it reminded me of something my mother-in-law once said. We went to see Bjorn Again and afterwards she commented that she was surprised to see so many men there without their wives. Ah, bless.

Reviewer wanted

Would anyone like to read and review Sheila O'Flanagan's Yours, Faithfully for Trashionista?

Let me know if you're interested (either via email or in the comments) and I'll get the book in the post to you.

Rainy Days & Tuesdays

Because I am a bird of little brain, I completely forgot to mention my lovely, lovely friend Claire's debut novel, Rainy Days & Tuesdays is out now.*

Unfortunately for potential readers (but fortunately for Claire) Amazon's out of stock, but you can pre-order it for when they get some more in and I'd recommend you do because I spent last week reading at every possible opportunity and finally had a bath (yes, a bath!) in order to finish it without interruption.

I loved it and you will too. Guaranteed.*

*I'll gloss over the fact that I have completely failed to blog about receiving a copy of my own blimmin' book (sort of)! But I haven't read it yet (I'm a bit scared of it) so I'll save it until I have.

**This is not a guarantee. But you don't need one. Honest.

In Search of Adam launch

So I have finally recovered enough from Thursday night to actually write about it. Yes, I know I am deeply feeble, but I've never been all that good at holding my drink and now that I am old, I'm even worse. (Me and my sister both noticed an enormous difference in drinking capacity when we turned 30. I really should have a two drink limit, but after two drinks you forget about it, don't you?)

Anyway. Lovely, lovely, Caroline Smailes whose blog you probably read (and if you don't, you should) had her first novel, In Search of Adam, launched at Waterstone's Manchester. (I used to work just over the road and have spent an awful lot of time in there.)

I'd arranged to go with my friend Hazel, who I met when we both worked in Waterstone's Stockport and who, since we've both had kids, I don't see nearly often enough. So we went for a drink beforehand, got to talking and, inevitably, were almost an hour late for Caroline's launch! An hour! Terrible. I mean, we didn't want to get there early, but an hour is inexcusable. (I have apologised to Caroline, but I don't think I was missed - there were loads of people there!) And I was disappointed because I missed Caroline's reading.

Anyway, I can't tell you how excited I was to meet Caroline. She's just so lovely and her book is so amazing*, as I queued (queued!) to meet her I was almost hopping up and down. Of course, she was lovely and composed and grown-up like a proper author (which of course she is) and I was going, "Hee hee hee! I'm so excited!!"

More wine was supped and then we repaired to a trendy place called Mojo (so trendy that David said they wouldn't let me in) (and also above a hairdressers where I once had my hair cut by a man who kept wiping his nose on his hand and also dripped sweat onto my hair). There was an In Search of Adam cake, which I meant to take a photo of, but didn't (I did eat some though) and Caroline gave a speech and then there was the beer and the unfortunate champagne...

And then I met a man (a friend of Caroline's) who started teaching at my old school the year I left. So we gossiped and reminisced about other teachers for a while. That was fun. (Jon, if you're reading this, the smelly one was Mrs Hale!) 

It was a great night. I just wish it hadn't taken me 24 hours to recover.

*I'll be reviewing In Search of Adam for Trashionista a week on Monday, but I'll just say that it's one of the most affecting books I've ever read. I think it's going to be massive.

Books!

Yes, it's true! At last my first book (which also features loads of other people, some of whom I know online and know to be fabulous) is out now!

Sadly, it's not yet on Amazon, nor will it be available in UK shops, but I have it on good authority that if you are in America, you can get it in a Ye Olde Bookshop.

So go! Buy it! What are you waiting for! (Yes, I'm excited, but I'll be more excited when I actually see it. Eep.)

But that's not all. The fabulous and wonderful Lisa* Clark's second book, Beauty*licious, is out today.

How gorge is that cover?

*Lisa's doing the New York walk too. How excited are we? 

Last, but not least is Girl Overboard, written by a former member of my fabulous chick lit group.

Fair brings a tear to the old eye...

I *heart* Sloane Tanen

I imagine almost everyone's already seen Sloane Tanen's books, but Zoe and I stood in Waterstone's reading her latest, Hatched, and cackling like eejits. I can't find the absolute best pic online (one that even when I think of it now, I laugh), but I like this one too.

Poor Virginia...

More Sloane Tanen here. (And if you read Hatched, email me and tell me which pic you think I found funniest and, if you're right, I'll buy you something nice. Probably.)

Er...

I know I need to blog about something, but what...?

I could post another Harry video (there's one of him bowling and another of him laughing at piglets), but I've been flogging the Harry horse lately...

I could write about the lovely dream I had about David Tennant (there was snogging), but when I woke up I couldn't stop thinking about Christopher Eccleston. What's that about? (And how scary were the scarecrows in this week's Dr Who?)

I could even moan about how due to an unfortunate series of events (i.e. it was David's fault) our bank returned two direct debits (totalling £12) unpaid and charged us £76 for doing so...

Oh! I know! Last week I discovered So a Blonde Walks Into a Blog and my life has improved as a result! First of all she (I don't know her name, she calls herself aBlondeBlogger) recommended Leslie Schnur's second novel Late Night Talking. I LOVED Schnur's first book, The Dog Walker, and didn't know this one was out. I emailed. It arrived yesterday. (I love my job.)

Following my stressed out post, BlondeBlogger also recommended Meditainment's meditation CDs. I googled them and found the website where you can download hundreds of guided meditations for a small fee and there's even a free one, which is fabulous! Thank you, BlondeBlogger. (I *heart* the internet.)

*Squeal*

Completely forgot to say ... we've got an interview with Marian Keyes on Trashionista! Marian Keyes!! Check it out. (She's a goddess.)

Books that make me go "Oooh..."

I don't write about books here as much now that I've got Trashionista, but lately I've noticed a cover trend that I LOVE and discovered a book that gave me butterflies, so I thought I'd share.

Broken Biscuits by Liz Kettle. Could the cover be any more perfect? And how much do I now want my name printed on a biscuit?

I read and loved Jerry Spinelli's Stargirl, but I haven't been inspired to read another of his/her (must check!) books until this one.

It's the simplicity, isn't it? Plain background + simple centred picture = Instant Love!

I absolutely would pick this book up because of the cover (how I didn't know until last week that nostalgia is my thing is a mystery to me!) but then I'd read the blurb:

"Summer at Tiffany" is a memoir of the summer of 1945, when Marjorie Jacobson and her best friend Marty traveled from the University of Iowa to New York City, hoping to land sales jobs.

Turned away from the top department stores, they made their way to 57th Street where refusing to be deterred, Marty lead Marjorie into the legendary Tiffany store, and somehow these best friends talked their way into positions as pages-the first women to ever work on the sales floor.

Their workdays found the girls dazzled by the likes of honeymooners Judy Garland and Vincent Minnelli, Marlene Dietrich in her USO uniform, and legendary playboy Jimmy Donohue. They delivered and modeled priceless jewels, nearly lost precious pearls, and encountered Old Man Tiffany himself during a rare visit.

In between getting lost in Harlem (& rescued by police!), witnessing the Eisenhower Parade, VJ Day in Times Square, and mingling with the Cafe Society-Marjorie Heart fell in love, learned lessons and made decisions that would impact the rest of her life, and leave her nostalgic for that one unforgettable "Summer at Tiffany".

New York. The forties. Tiffany. Judy Garland. Glamour! This is the kind of book I become obsessed with and can't rest until I've read it...

I *heart* my author friends

Over the last few years I've met some lovely and talented writers online. Not just in my lovely Chick Lit group on WriteWords, but through this very blog. Some I've got in touch with, some have got in touch with me. Some have got agents, some have got publishing deals and some - well, one - has got a book out right now!

Lisa Clark's (fan of America's Next Top Model, Oprah Winfrey and Joey from Blossom and all round top chick) first book, Think Pink, is out and it's gorgeous! Lisa's on a blog tour this week, she'll be interviewed at Trashionista tomorrow, and I'll be reviewing it on Friday.

Caroline Smailes - Ice Princess devotee - has her first novel, In Search of Adam, coming out in June. How gorgeous is that cover?

Lucy Diamond has written about a cajillion children's books under different names, but her first adult novel is out in April. I've read it (I know, I'm a lucky duckie) and it's fabulous.

Goodness gracious, you know, I didn't realise there were quite so many fabulous author-types I've met online. I'm quite worn out and there are still more to come!

The Inner Minx who has visited this blog many times has an utterly fabulous book out too - Coven of One. I reviewed it for Trashionista and I wasn't even lying.

Now, I don't mean to be rude to any of those above, because I love them all, but ... BUT ... these final two make me prouder than a pride of proud proud things.

Claire Allen is a member of my Chick Lit group and her first book - Rainy Days and Tuesdays - will be published by Poolbeg Press this coming Autumn. Honestly, when I pick that book up in the shop I will weep. I can't wait.

And my fab friend and Chicklish partner, Luisa Plaja's first book (with Random House) is coming out next year - I know! How are we supposed to wait that long?

God, I really hope I haven't missed anyone out and if I have it's due to my stupidity ... obviously. (Oh and I've only included people who've books have been published since I've met them, which is why I haven't mentioned Kate Harrison, whose Brown Owl's Guide to Life I'm reading and enjoying currently.)

Ah, the smell of it!

Obsessions. I have many. Gilmore Girls. Relocation Relocation. Cadbury Mini Eggs (they're back!) New York. And now I have more.

Gabrielle introduced me to Apartment Therapy and then I spotted this. I love "muriels". I love the one in My Name Is Earl (in their room in the motel) and I love this one. Pretty.

Also Radio 4. I know! Who knew The News Quiz was so damn funny (put your hand down, Beki). And Ross Noble. And Down the Line. And on BBC7 you can here old News Quizzes along with Lee and Herring's Fist of Fun and Chewin' the Fat. So now I listen to comedy while I work and podcasts while I walk. When do I listen to music? Um ...

Now I must be off again. I still haven't done my chuffing tax return and every time I try there's a problem with the website. I'm starting to panic. Eep. Eep. Eep. That's me. Panicking.

Oh and remember What Would Barbra Do? It arrived this morning. I love my job.

There's still hope!

The publication of O J Simpson's book has been cancelled.

Looks like we haven't sunk quite that low yet after all.

I wonder if he'll get to keep the advance. Ron Goldman's father had apparently started proceedings to make Simpson pay some or all of it over as per the result of the civil case. We'll see.

I won! I won!

A couple of months ago, lovely author Kate Harrison ran a comp to name her latest book and I won! I won! I have once again had a bit of a crapper of a weekend and have been feeling rather sorry for myself, so this has cheered me right up.

Sadly the publishers aren't going to use either of the names I suggested (the fools) but I still get a proof copy of the book and an invite to the launch party (or tea with Kate if there is no party). The book is now going to be called The Self-preservation Society and sounds utterly fab.

Normal service will resume ..

.. later today. I hope. In other words, I'll stop being the Brendan Cole of blogging* and get back to my cheery Bunton-esque self.

I'm reading the utterly wonderful Lauren Child's** latest Clarice Bean book to cheer myself up and there is some good advice contained in one of the chapter headings: 'When you get to the end of your rope - let go.'

This is fairly similar to the new attitude I had already planned which is encompassed by the Darkness*** song 'Givin' up, givin' up, givin' a f**k'.

Yes, the Lauren Child version is classier, but I can sing the Darkness one, making it easier to remember.

* By which I mean moaning and ranting, not filthy and naughty.

** Lauren Child is with the same agency as me. Do you think they'll have a Christmas party?

*** Yes, I am aware of the multiple woes that have befallen my beloved Darkness, but I am currently in denial. I will no doubt blog about it at a future date when I am feeling stronger.