Happy Endings - Monday

I started writing this in America (in 2001) and I really love it. I just can't seem to finish it ...

Monday

There was one good thing about being a temp, Lex thought as she stretched her legs out and tried to switch the TV on with her big toe. Sometimes there wasn’t any work out there and you got to skive for the day. Giving up, she sat up and switched the telly on in the normal way and then settled back against her pillows to watch GMTV.

When she’d first started temping she’d been very organised. She got up at the normal time, showered, dressed nicely, did her make-up and then sat waiting for the phone to ring. Now though, if she got a job, she dressed in the first ‘work’ outfit that came to hand and did her make-up on the bus. She’d arrived at many a new job tearful and almost blind from a hastily applied mascara wand. Oh, crap, her mobile was ringing. Lex dragged herself out of bed and rummaged in her bag.

‘Hello?’

‘Hi love.’ It was her mum. Thank fuck for that, she wasn’t in the mood for working.

‘Hi. What’s up?’ Lex checked her bedside table for her glasses.

‘Not at work today?’

‘Not yet. Is everything okay?’ They weren’t on top of the book she’d been reading the previous night.

‘Of course. Why wouldn’t it be?’

‘Just you don’t usually ring me at 8 in the morning, that’s all.’ And they weren’t on the dog’s head glasses-rest Sean had bought her as a joke.

‘Oh. I just wanted to make sure you’ll be in this evening.’

‘Tonight? Why?’ She groped around the floor next to the bed.

‘I thought I’d pop round.’

‘Why?’

‘I just thought I would. What’s the matter? Don’t you want me to?’

‘No, of course, that’s fine. What time-ish?’

‘About 7?’

Lex ended the call, dropped the phone on the floor and lay back down. Now what was that all about? Her mum never came around if she could help it. She hoped she hadn’t offended her in some way. Some perceived slight that Lex knew nothing about but her mother had been brooding over for weeks. Lex could just picture her mum’s face as she said, ‘Darling, I know you didn’t mean to hurt my feelings, but…’. Lex rued the day her mum had started watching Oprah and had got in touch with her emotions. God, the phone was ringing again. She probably wanted to know if she should bring some milk. Her mother was always terrified of running out of milk. Lex couldn’t understand it – it wasn’t as if there weren’t twenty-four hour supermarkets these days.

It was the agency. They had a job at an accountants in the centre of Manchester. Get there quick smart and ask for Melody. Melody? In an accountants? As she dragged herself out of bed, she spotted her glasses on top of the television.

***

Chloe sat in the canteen, munching her way through a pile of heavily-buttered white toast and studying the recruitment pages of the Metro. This had become her morning routine since she’d decided she couldn’t stay at Granada simply waiting for something to happen. She had to be proactive. But there didn’t seem to be any jobs. She’d been a researcher for the past five years and she enjoyed it, but she felt now that it was time to move into production. Only all the good production jobs were in London. And Dan didn’t want to move to London. Chloe flicked back to the front of the paper and stared at a photograph of Britney Spears. More and more she felt Dan was holding her back. She felt awful for thinking of it, but it seemed to her that whenever she wanted to do anything, Dan didn’t. But then, to be fair, she didn’t really want to do the things Dan wanted to do. Like buy a house, get married, have a baby. She was starting to wonder if they were coming to the end of the road. Or at least a crossroads. Did she stay with Dan, get married, stay in Manchester? Or give it all up and start again in London? Was she too old to start over again? She needed to talk to Lex.

***

The building was enormous, with revolving doors, marble floors, supercilious security guards, oppressive silence. Lex sighed. She hated these jobs the most. She’d been lucky to get a few really good temp jobs – small, friendly companies with not much to do except make tea, file, and chat. The staff of one company had all gone out for the day and when Lex had asked what she should do, the manager said, ‘Read a book, phone your friends, have a laugh.’ And then he came back and took her out for a three hour lunch and still paid her for a full day. This place, though, she knew was not going to be like that. She already knew she’d be spoken to for being underdressed and that she’d have to wear her suit tomorrow.

Lex announced herself to security. (She always did it in that weird transatlantic way of making everything a question. ‘I’m Alexis Bentley? From the agency? To see Melody?’ She couldn’t help it.)

‘Right. Go up to the twelfth floor and the security code is one eight two six. Melody’ll meet you on the other side.’

On the other side? Lex thought, heading for the lifts, just where was the twelfth floor? In another dimension? She stepped into the lift and the doors whooshed closed. ‘First. Floor. Going. Up,’ said a recorded voice which sounded uncannily like Joanna Lumley. Did actors do that kind of thing? (She imagined Joanna in a dimly lit smoky studio – ‘First. Floor. Going. Up.’ ‘Oh, darling, you nearly had it that time – just one last time and try to sound like you’ve nothing to live for.’)

Lex was definitely underdressed for this place. Within seconds, and with her ears popping, she arrived at her destination. (‘Twelfth. Floor. Doors. Opening,’ said Joanna.) She stepped out, coming face to keypad with the alarm.

‘Oh, shit.’ One two eight six? She tried it and was rewarded with a flashing red light and a violent beeping. One six eight two? No. More beeping. More flashing. Right. Third time lucky. Two one eight six. More beeping but this time not localised to the keypad but from the ceiling or the walls or somewhere. And deafeningly loud. Lex looked around in a panic almost expecting the walls to start closing in or a SWAT team to jump out of the lift. Instead the door opened and a frighteningly groomed blonde woman stepped through, pressed the keypad with hot pink painted nails, and smiled wryly at Lex.

‘You must be Alexis. I’m Melody.’

Melody’s hair was pulled back into what Lex believed was called a chignon. Not a style her own hair would succumb to. Melody wore a pinstriped skirt suit, killer heels, and a hot pink shirt. Her lipstick was hot pink too. It made Lex’s eyes water just to look at her.

‘Yes,’ Lex mumbled. ‘I’m sorry about the alarm. I couldn’t remember…’

‘That’s fine. The code is one eight two six.’

‘Okay. I’ll write it down.’

‘No. You’ll have to remember it. You mustn’t write it down.’

‘Okay,’ Lex mumbled. What was this, MI5?

Melody set off at a brisk pace down corridor after corridor occasionally shouting ‘Kitchen!’ or ‘Bathrooms!’ over her shoulder at Lex. Lex knew she would never remember her way around and that a day of unrelenting humiliation lay ahead. She consoled herself with the temp’s mantra: I Can Leave If I Don’t Like It.

‘We usually only use the lift at the beginning and the end of the day,’ Melody called. ‘And lunchtimes of course.’

‘Of course,’ Lex muttered.

‘The rest of the time we use the stairs. It keeps the lift free for the all-important clients.’

‘Right.’

They finally arrived in an enormous open-plan office. At least fifty people were working there in almost total silence. The only sounds were the muted ringing of phones, aggressive tapping of keyboards, and the bubbling of the water cooler.

‘This is your station,’ Melody said, pulling a chair out for Lex. ‘No eating or drinking at your desk. Feel free to help yourself to water.’

Lex looked at the water cooler. The cups were conical so they couldn’t be put down on the desk. Lex sighed. She started to work through the enormous pile of typing that had been left for her, treating herself to a cone of water after she completed each one. It was amazing, they seemed to only hold one mouthful. Even though, inevitably, a toilet visit soon became necessary.

Lex headed back the way she’d come in with Melody. These corridors looked familiar, she must be nearly there. She went through yet another set of doors - how many was that now? five? - and found herself on a landing. There were no more doors, only stairs. She turned to go back in, but found another keypad staring her in the face. Right. Two six eight one, definitely. Argh! Eight one two six? Six two eight one. No. And no alarm this time. Apparently no-one was going to come and let her back in. She looked around. She knocked on the door. Eventually she set off upstairs. Same again at the next floor. Right. This was ridiculous. Okay, she knew what to do. She’d walk down to reception, get the code from them, and get the lift back up. On the first floor there was a door marked Reception and next to it was a keypad. Lex banged her head against the wall. She was close to tears and all she wanted to do was go home, get back into bed and forget about this hellish place. She pinched herself, surely this was a nightmare. She tried a few codes. She banged on the door. She sniffled. Then she climbed out of the window. The young man standing waiting for the 384 bus was very surprised to see her. Lex smiled ruefully at him and thought about going home but her bag was upstairs at her workstation. She went back in to the building.

***

‘Hello darling.’

At 11.30, Chloe’s boss, Nina, had just arrived at work. She was wearing leather trousers, spike-heeled boots, and a low-cut and lacy top with a fake leopard-skin jacket on top. Chloe and her colleague, Jed, rolled their eyes at one another.

‘How goes it?’ Nina sat at her desk and kicked her bags underneath – Kendals, Pied-a-Terre and Jigsaw, Chloe noted.

‘It’s going well, actually,’ Chloe replied. ‘I’ve set up interviews with both the footballer and the manager. They’re playing a European game next week, so we’re going out to Barcelona for the interviews. I quite fancy them both so I’ll see if they’re interested in a spit roast.’

‘Lovely,’ Nina smiled. There. Chloe knew she hadn’t been listening.

‘You couldn’t grab me a coffee could you, sweetheart?’

‘Sorry, no,’ Chloe said, standing up. ‘We’ve got a planning meeting, haven’t we, Jed.’

‘Yes,’ Jed almost shouted. He stood up and followed Chloe out to the lift.

‘Where’s this meeting then?’ he asked, as Chloe pressed the button for Reception.

‘The Grapes?’

‘Excellent.’

***

Finally Lex was exactly where she wanted to be – at home, in bed, This Morning on the telly, a cup of tea in her hand, and a packet of chocolate digestives on her bedside table. She’d arrived back at her workstation to find Melody waiting for her.

‘I don’t really think this is working out, Alexis,’ she’d said, helping Lex on with her coat and handing her her bag. ‘I’ve spoken to the agency and you won’t be working for us again.’

Lex knew she should be upset, annoyed, ask for a second chance. But she couldn’t be arsed. She was embarrassed, she’d scratched her arm climbing out of the window, and she wasn’t in the mood for this. Mutely she let Melody escort her out of the building.

***

‘I’m looking for a new job,’ Chloe said, sipping her wine and helping herself to some of Jed’s crisps.

‘You can’t,’ Jed said. ‘You’re the only thing keeping me sane.’

‘No. If I go, then you can be Nina’s protégéé. You’d like that.’

Jed pulled a face. ‘The Barcelona thing should be good for you.’

‘Yeah, I hope so. I’m just worried that she’ll come to her senses, realise it’d be good for her, and take me off it and go herself.’

‘I doubt it. She seems pretty well away with the fairies at the moment. I think she’s looking for a new job actually.’

‘Do you? Why?’

‘Oh, stuff I’ve overheard. Nothing concrete, but she seems to be doing a lot of networking, etc. You know what she’s like, it might all be bullshit, but I’ve got a feeling she’s got something brewing.’

‘Good. It’d make my job a lot easier if I didn’t have to deal with her.’

‘You could get her job.’

‘Do you think?’ Chloe grinned. ‘God, that’d be perfect. We’d have such a laugh.’

‘Do you think she’s on Prozac?’

‘No. I think she’s probably on some non-prescription drugs.’

‘Do you?’

‘Wouldn’t be surprised. Whatever she’s on, she’s shit at her job.’

Jed sighed. ‘I wish they’d sack her.’

‘They never do though, do they? God knows what you’d have to do to get the sack from that place.’

‘So what are your plans for Barcelona then?’

‘Don’t really know yet. I’m interviewing this new player, Roman MacGowan, and the manager, but I haven’t got an itinerary or anything. There’s a meeting tomorrow, actually. Whatever happens, I get a few days in Spain out of it.’

‘Have you seen Roman MacGowan?’ Jed asked.

‘Yeah, he’s pretty good looking. Bit rough and ready though.’

‘Helen thinks he’s the sexiest thing since Beckham,’ Jed said of his wife.

‘Nah. He’s not my type.’

***

‘I’ve got something to tell you, darling,’ Lex’s mum said, that evening. They were sitting at the kitchen table. They’d just had a Chinese takeaway that her mother had described as both “interesting” and “different”. They were alone – Dan and Chloe had gone out for dinner, Ed was in his room listening to dance music, and Sean was out on the pull, as usual.

‘Now,’ her mum continued, ‘I’m not sure how you’re going to feel about it but I want to assure you that it is the best thing in the long run.’

Lex’s mother had always spoken to her like this and it annoyed Lex intensely. Her friends’ teenage tantrums had been dealt with with shouting, grounding, crying, Lex’s mother had preferred “discussion”, such as, ‘I understand how you feel but it’s not appropriate at this time, perhaps we can discuss things further when you’re feeling calmer.’ In Oprah she had found a spiritual guru and it had made her much worse.

‘What’s going on, mum?’ Lex said, swallowing the recurring urge to call her “mom”. Her mother actually preferred Lex to call her “Jan” but she’d never been able to bring herself to.

‘Your father and I are divorcing.’

‘What?’

‘He has left me for a twenty-two year old. He tells me they plan to marry.’

‘What?’

‘I was upset at first but now I see the opportunities it opens up for me.’

‘What?’ Lex spluttered.

‘Stop saying “what” dear.’ Her mother sipped her coffee.

‘What … what opportunities?’

‘Well your father has always held me back somewhat. I’ve never been able to do a lot of the things I’ve wanted to do.’

‘Such as?’

They were interrupted by Sean’s return. He stomped through to the kitchen and noisily began making himself a cup of tea.

‘My mum and dad are splitting up,’ Lex called to him.

‘What?’ He spun around to face Lex.

‘Oh don’t you start, sweetie. You young people are so inarticulate.’

Sean rushed back to the table. ‘Are you okay?’

‘I’m fine.’ Jan reached up and patted Sean’s cheek.

‘What about you?’ he asked, raising an eyebrow at Lex.

‘I’m stunned. Mum was just going to tell me about all the things she wants to do.’

Sean made his tea and joined them at the table.

‘Well. Travel.’

‘You and dad had two holidays a year!’

‘Yes, in Europe. I’d like to see the Far East. And the Middle East. And I’ve always fancied diving. You see that’s why I think this young woman will be good for your father. He’s stuck in his ways. She can bring him out of himself in a way I never could.’

‘He’s 55 years old. He doesn’t need bringing out of himself!’

‘What about you, Mrs B?’ Sean smiled. ‘Are you going to start looking for a twenty-two year old?’

Lex snorted.

‘Well,’ Jan said. ‘I’ve always found Indian men very attractive but I’ve never dated any. When I was young there weren’t any in Cheshire. I don’t really know where to meet them now – they don’t seem to come to the Legion.’

‘What about India?’ Sean suggested as Lex glared at him.

‘I have thought about that, actually, but I’m a bit worried about the tummy trouble. Might give it a go though. You only live once.’

‘Ooh, Mrs B,’ Sean laughed, ‘you are a one!’

Lex groaned.

‘So have you heard anything from Antony?’ Jan asked.

Lex groaned again. ‘No.’

‘That’s a shame. You should have tried to keep in touch. Your father and I are going to try and remain friends. It’s healthier.’

‘Mum.’ Lex took a deep breath. ‘You know I told you that Antony and I just came to the end of the road, wanted different things, blah…?’

Her mum nodded.

‘Well I wanted to settle down and he wanted to shag other women.’

‘Oh no! Poor you.’ She reached for Lex’s hand. ‘But he was always so clean.’

Sean snorted.

***

Lex lay on the floor and listened to the bed creaking next to her. Her mum seemed to be taking an age getting comfortable, but with the noise coming from Chloe and Dan’s room, it wasn’t really surprising.

‘I think you’re being incredibly selfish,’ Dan yelled.

‘Why is it selfish for me to want to do something that you don’t want to do? You don’t think it’s selfish when it’s you that wants something, do you?’ Chloe screeched back.

Lex could hear that she was pacing around the room and knew, from experience, that Dan would be sitting calmly on the bed, watching her.

‘But we both need to agree on these things. We have to both be happy,’ Dan said.

‘And I’m not happy, that’s what I’m telling you. But you are. So that’s all that matters.’

‘You know that’s not true. But I really don’t want to move to London.’

‘And I do. So where does that leave us?’

‘I don’t know.’ He sounded weary.

‘You never do, do you? Look - this is too hard. I can’t do it anymore.’

Lex had heard this argument or variations of it many times. Chloe would walk out now.

‘That’s it,’ Chloe shouted. ‘I need to get away from you.’

The door opened and closed and Lex listened to Chloe’s footsteps on the stairs. The front door opened and closed and she heard her on the gravel of the drive. Then the front door opened and closed and Chloe stamped back upstairs. The bedroom door opened and closed and Chloe sobbed, ‘Give me the fucking car keys.’

‘Chloe. Sweetheart,’ Dan said, soothingly, ‘you can’t drive.’

As Chloe’s sobs and Dan’s whispers of love and apology faded, Jan said, ‘Oh, that’s so sweet. They made up.’

Lex groaned. She knew the making up was still to come and that she, and her mum, would be lying here listening to it.

***

Lex couldn’t get to sleep. Her mum’s snoring wasn’t helping, but it was her bombshell of earlier in the evening that was really troubling. How could her dad have left? And for a twenty-two year old. Younger than Lex. Considerably younger than Lex in fact. It wasn’t right. And why hadn’t he told her? Lex had always been somewhat of a daddy’s girl. They’d giggled together about her mum’s behaviour and had perfected a synchronised sigh and eye-rolling routine that drove Jan up the wall. Why hadn’t he told her he was unhappy? And then her bloody mother had had to go and mention Antony.

Antony had been Lex’s first real love. She’d had boyfriends before, she’d had what she considered to be “serious relationships” before, but Antony was the first that she really though could be “the one”. He’d had his faults: the lack of “h” in his name bugged her unreasonably and he was, as her mother had said, clean, excessively clean, and tidy. His flat was always perfect, not a thing out of place and all “clean lines”. Lex was always suspicious of people who were too tidy. To her, lack of clutter equalled lack of imagination. The first time she’d gone back to his place he’d apologised for the “mess” in the bedroom. The mess turned out to be a single coat hanger left on the bed. But he’d been so great in the bed, she’d forgotten about it. He was a great cook and he was always so smart, but then he started to make comments about Lex’s appearance and how he thought she could smarten up a bit. Still they got on well, had a laugh, he was the first boyfriend Lex had had who read books that hadn’t been written by either footballers or gangsters. Just as she was getting the impression he was going to propose, she saw him out with a young-looking blonde woman. She challenged him about it and he insisted it was a woman from work. But then Lex surprised him at his flat one evening and he really was surprised. He was having sex with the blonde woman. Lex hadn’t seen him since.

Right, she thought, there was no point in lying there brooding. She was getting up for a cup of tea. She tiptoed down the stairs intending, but forgetting, to avoid the squeaky stair. She stopped as the noise reverberated around the house but it didn’t seem to have disturbed anyone. Embarrassingly she could still hear her mum’s rhythmic snores, and Dan and Chloe apparently remained in a post-coital slumber. Sean generally slept as if in the early stages of coma so it was unlikely to have disturbed him. As Lex reached the hall, though, Ed’s door opened and he stood in front of her, dishevelled, sleepy, unbelievably sexy, and in just his boxer shorts.

‘Hi,’ Lex smiled. ‘Cup of tea?’

Ed nodded and followed her, wordlessly, into the kitchen.