keris stainton

I. Want. This. House.

Featured on - where else? - Apartment Therapy, it's a pigeonnier, built in the grounds of a Louisiana estate around 1750 to house pigeons. Just look at it! And inside?

Ohhhh. I want.

 

Blame and shame

I've been thinking a lot about blame lately. Partly because David grew up being taught that everything was someone's fault. So if he knocked a glass of juice over, his mum would say, "What did you do that for?" (Um, a laugh?)

He has a tendency to do the same, but I'm gradually beating it out of him (only joking - I make him beat himself). The other day, Harry fell over and was howling in pain and shock. I was cuddling him and reassuring him when David's mum came in and said, to Harry, "Oh, you silly thing."

Now, I'm sure she thinks I'm a giant nellie and I *know* she thinks Harry is way too coddled (the other day she said something about Harry being too attached to his Middy. Really? Too attached? At age three? Yeah, probably about time I cut him loose...), but I think my job is to comfort and reassure, not to blame and criticise.

Of course, this doesn't work with blaming myself. I second-guess, question and agonise over every decision, however minimal. For example, Tuesday Harry got sent home from school because they thought he had sunstroke (he didn't; he was fine from the minute I "sprung" him). Yesterday Harry slept really late, plus we'd realised he was allergic to the suncream we'd been slathering him with and hadn't got round to getting anymore, plus I didn't feel very well and couldn't really face the bus journey and walk home. So I decided we'd take the day off.

And then I decided, no, we should go in. I thought about ringing other mums and arranging a suncream rendezvous. I thought about driving David to work so I would have the car, could drop Harry off, buy suncream, return to preschool, slather him up. I thought about getting David to go in late so he could take Harry and I could lie on the sofa with a damp cloth on my head. Of course, Harry slept through all of this and eventually I decided if he was still asleep at 8.15, he probably needed sleep more than he needed three hours of preschool.

Of course, as a backdrop to this, I was blaming myself that we hadn't noticed he was allergic to the suncream (we thought it was a heat rash) and kicking myself for not being organised enough to get more the night before, as planned. (Incidentally, I don't remember my parents ever putting suncream on me before school. Even in that sweltering summer of 76...)

As it turned out, Harry and I had a great day, culminating in his first poo on the potty (yes, he is nearly four, what of it?) so I felt justified in keeping him off. (After he tried to poo again this morning, he said, "That was 'tresting!"

This morning, as I was kissing Harry goodbye for the three hundredth time, one of the nursery nurses rushed past carrying my friend Karen's baby, William. Behind her was Karen, sobbing. As Karen passed me she said, "I dropped him. I dropped William."

As it turned out, William was not only fine, Karen hadn't dropped him at all - she'd tripped over some broken paving and had cut her arms, knee and hands protecting William. But her first instinct had been to blame herself.

You probably won't be surprised to hear I don't have any sort of conclusion - I just think it's 'tresting.

Maya Angelou

Michelle blogged this a few weeks ago and I love it. I agree with every word, but I'm nowhere near there yet (I've got a cordless drill ... but no drill bits).

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...

enough money within her control to move out

and rent a place of her own,

even if she never wants to or needs to...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....

something perfect to wear if the employer,

or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..

a youth she's content to leave behind....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...

a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to retelling it in her old age....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .....

a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....

one friend who always makes her laugh...

and one who lets her cry...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....

a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...

eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems,

and a recipe for a meal, that will make her guests feel honored...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..

a feeling of control over her destiny...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

how to fall in love without losing herself..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

how to quit a job,

break up with a lover,

and confront a friend

without ruining the friendship...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

when to try harder...

and WHEN TO WALK AWAY...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

that she can't change the length of her calves,

the width of her hips,

or the nature of her parents..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

that her childhood may not have been perfect...but it's over...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

what she would and wouldn't do for love or more...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

how to live alone... even if she doesn't like it...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

whom she can trust,

whom she can't,

and why she shouldn't take it personally...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

where to go...

be it to her best friend's kitchen table..

or a charming Inn in the woods...

when her soul needs soothing...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

What she can and can't accomplish in a day...

a month...and a year...

York

Coo, meant to update about this last week, but the sunshine's got me wiped out.

So, it turns out we went to see Shawn Smith, not Shaun Smith. It was a really good gig, except that I only know one of his songs and he didn't flippin' do it! It's a lovely song though. Listen to it here.

Before the gig we had a lovely dinner here.

And the following morning we walked along the river and then went to a lavender farm. It's been on my list to do that for a while, but unfortunately the lavender wasn't out yet! It was still lovely though and I had a lavender tea in the cafe, which also served lavender scones with lavender jam and lavender cheesecake and lavender ice-cream with lavender biscuits. (David said if there'd been a suggestion box, he would've said, "Great place, but enough with the lavender!!!)

Then we got home and were greeted with this:

He looks a right pistol (as Grandma would say). But a cute one.

I found it!

Thanks for your suggestions, but I was just sitting here thinking about the actor with the red nose and the glasses and I had a feeling he was probably in Carry On films. So I Wikipedia'd them and found it was Jack Douglas.

Then I IMDb'd Jack Douglas and spotted it! The Shillingbury Tales!

"Classic ITV comedy-drama from 1980, set in the fictional village of Shillingbury in Hertfordshire. Londoners Peter and Sally Higgins move to the idyllic English countryside to enjoy the ambiance of fine thatched-roofed cottages, strawberry cream teas, oak-timbered pubs and a collection of eccentric locals, including grumpy farmer Jake (Jack Douglas), his sexy daughter Sally (Linda Hayden), crafty tramp Cuffy (Bernard Cribbins), old busybody Mrs Simpkins (Diana King), nosy postman Harvey (Joe Black) and the twittering Reverend Norris (Nigel Lambert)."

It wasn't David Janson at all. It was Robin Nedwell! And his wife was played by Diane Keen. I don't know how I forgot she was in it, because I loved her when I was a kid, particularly in The Cuckoo Waltz.

It was on Sunday nights and an IMDb user compares it to The Darling Buds of May (like I just did in the comments!).

So do you remember it now?! I'm off to order the DVD.

Name that TV show!

Okay, this has been driving me mad for a while.

I remember a TV series from the eighties. In my mind it was called The Canterbury Tales, but had (as far as I remember) nothing to do with Chaucer.

It was set in a idyllic country village (possibly in the Cotswolds or, you know, Canterbury).

I thought Geoffrey Perkins was in it. Or maybe Jim Broadbent. But it's not listed for either of them on  IMDb. Or that other guy. You know, big fella, red nose, thick glasses. You know! He's been in loads of stuff!

I do remember the main actor was an actor I thought was called David Jansen, but not The Fugitive. This guy was a British actor with a big mouth (lots of teeth) who appeared in a lot of British TV shows in the late 70s, early 80s.

I haven't been able to find anything online.

Does it ring any bells with anyone?

No, of course I didn't go back to bed!

Just wanted to share a post I wrote about my favourite kids TV for TVScoop and nagging for Bridalwave.

Morning

It's 5.20am and I've been up for nearly an hour. Last night I went to a preschool committee meeting. I got home at about 10.30 and went straight to bed where, when I closed my eyes, strange colours and shapes raced towards me so I felt like I was playing some sort of blurry computer driving game. I tried to grab hold and stop and keep still, but they kept coming. I wanted to get up and chill out a bit before trying to sleep, but I was so tired...

So I fell asleep and dreamed about meetings and teachers and other people's children and days out (we're going to a farm next month) and the new play flooring stuff and the fake grass that won't get muddy. I tossed and turned and wasn't sure whether I was really asleep or still back at the meeting.

This always happens when I have a night out (yes, even one as unexciting as a committe meeting). I dream that I'm back there, sometimes in my pyjamas, sometimes trying to sleep while everyone else has fun. (Usually the more I drink, the worse it is, but last night I only had a cup of tea.)

At 4-ish I woke up, still tired from all that dreaming, and started to think about a particular bill I have to pay before a particular date and which I can't (particularly) "swing". Of course, I forgot that when I find myself worrying about money, I should think positive money affirmations instead and so got up to answer emails (which always makes me feel more in control) and read Dalai Mama (which always makes me feel better about everything).

Now I'm fairly relaxed and still tired, but is there any point in going back to bed at 5.30?

[Phenomenal picture of the sun rising behind a dandelion seed head by dawn passion on flickr. Appropriate, since I currently feel like bits of me are flying off in all directions!]

Perfect day (and it's not even 10!)

I am having such a lovely day. Before preschool Harry reached a new peak of cuteness, shouting to me from his bedroom, "Come here! I missing you!" (It wasn't true, he just wanted me to find his race cars for him, but it was still cute.

Then, waiting for the bus, we played with some blossom petals and then Harry said, kind of wistfully for a 3-year-old: "Petals on the breeze..." I said, "Petals on the breeze? What's that from?" and he said, "Goodnight Harry." David's favourite book. I know children have great memories, but I so so love that Harry's quoting from a book. And in context! (It also reminded me of the lines in Goodnight Harry that always make me laugh. Following the petals on the breeze, it says "They felt the dew of the night." Again, it doesn't work written down, but David always adds "already" and it gets me everytime.

Then I walked back from preschool via the park and it was just beautiful: blossom, bluebells, a Dalmation puppy (you don't see so many Dalmations anymore, do you? Bloody de Ville) and I listened to a Michael Neill podcast, which was just as funny and insightful as ever. Then I got home, settled down at the computer and watched this:

The thing is, the day's only going to get better because this afternoon, me and D are off to York for the night. Finally - finally! - celebrating my deal (and going to see Shaun Smith). Yay!

Harry's World of Flags

Harry is utterly obsessed with flags. And I mean obsessed. He has his flag poster and he also watches Yakko's World of Flags on YouTube over and over again. (That's David trying to sing it at the end, but it's not in alphabetical order, which is where he went wrong!)

"Checky-a-bucky" is Czech Republic. I'm glad we managed to capture him saying it since just a week or two later he can say it properly. Which is good, but not as cute.

Incidentally, we don't force him to learn these flags, he is constantly on at us to "test" him on his flag knowledge. He already knows more than me...